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Date cancelled 😞

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I’ve been chatting with this guy for three weeks. (He was on vacation, then I was,) and tonight was supposed to be the first date… he texted me a couple hours before, saying we should probably talk about our health and asked about any std’s, etc.

So I told him I have hsv2… then he postponed the date. Says he needs to digest it. My first herpes rejection. 

I respect his need to process, but it feels so wrong that we talked about this before we even met….

Maybe it’s good I probably vetted out someone who was just interested in sex?  

Either way, this feeling stinks. I hate having herpes. I’m usually pretty optimistic but this feels awful right now. 😕

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First, know you are not dirty. You are not unwanted. You are not unlovable. 

I'm so sorry about this. Please know it's not your fault. You cannot control how someone responds to you. The way people treat you is a reflection of THEM not of you. 

I think it's great that you were honest with him when talking about STIs, however the fact that he wanted to talk about the before the first date indicates he was planning on being intimate. I mean... A first date is usually sex free because the people are trying to get to know each other before they are physically vulnerable with each other. If you were trying to connect with him emotionally before getting physical, it seems he was on a different page. I think he showed his true colors and you have truly learned so much about him. So, this has saved you time and energy ❤️

I know that things suck right now and you hate herpes. We've all felt that way. Remember it's not your fault, and that HSV can sometimes be a blessing in disguise. 

Be kind to yourself! We are here if you need to vent 😊

Sending blessings and prayers your way! ☀️💛


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Thank you Grace!

I’m  going to take some time to myself and will get through it /over it.

I agree with you that I learned about him.  It just stinks that I’m the one left feeling bad about this because I can’t change the situation.

Thanks again for the kind words of support. ❤️

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  • 1 month later...

I am sorry you are feeling this way after being vulnerable and sharing your status with him.

it really sucks! I know, I have been rejected now a couple of times after sharing my status.

Maybe it’s not rejection, but protection. Early on you have learned that this man is not a good match for you. If he can’t handle this information, how will he handle  things more serious in the future?

you have to remember that you are a beautiful person, having herpes doesn’t change that about you. Maybe this experience has protected you from getting your heart broken by being with the right person.

Just want you to know that I feel you and I’m sorry for what you are going through. Many blessings.



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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Fatladysangnocure

Why, are people saying that, after telling someone they have an STD, and they "Ghost" that person, they or others will remark  that  they probably were  "only" interested in "sex"? That, is so far from the truth. Herpes, has a "Stigma" attached to it. A Man/Woman, can "research" Herpes on the internet, see pictures of what an outbreak looks like. So, a Man/Woman, who does not want to risk catching something such as Herpes, something that can/is painful and is not curable, does not mean that person "only" was looking for "sex". Personally, I believe that is a myth, a band aid on the facts. Most of us, if we did not have Herpes, would probably be as them. Just being honest here.

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