My first feeling to disclose herpes

[Iamme34]

I have been seeing someone for about a month.. We've definitely gotten close to being intimate although we didn't get that far.... because he is an ex of mine who I fell inlove with a long time ago.. But now I feel I am different because of my skin condition n actually how I received h... I am scared to disclose but know I have to... Not only for him, but for me... To care about someone more than I do about myself... The only thing is, is we talked about the past n he said I know we say awful things when we break up with someone we love to make us feel better.. N I got a lump in my throat thinking if I disclose, will he run his mouth if we don't work out... I guess i can say I don't know if I trust to tell him yet... So should I wait to say anything n hold off on being physical..??? I am so confused and scared...:0( I don't mind if he rejects me... For I've been rejected for other things... I'm just scared I can't trust him with this precious thing about me... I would initially wait for being physical, but this guy to me is in my heart... N as I am ready to fool around and get close again... I am scared that he's not ready to treat this topic with sensitivity, and compassion... Please any advice would help :0(

[idkwhattosay]

i disclosed yesterday for the first time ever in a letter. if you want to check it out i just posted it on here. hope it helps.

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1642/stronger-than-ever#Item_2

[Iamme34]

Thank you very much... I to disclosed.. Mine didn't turn out so well... I truly feel if they care and love you, they will except u and this gift... Because love is something worth never letting go.. Unfortunately I'm going to assume he didn't feel the same way... I'm hoping I don't regress after all this progress I thought I have overcome...

[mr_hopp]

Hi Lamme,

 

What broke my heart is hearing that you care about someone more than yourself. You say "I truly feel if they care and love you, they will accept you and this gift." My question is, are you expecting someone else to accept you before you've even accepted yourself? That's a big question. Sit with that for a sec.

 

Ultimately, we can't love someone more than we love ourselves. That whole notion is BS, quite frankly. :) And that's the essence of co-dependency. It may seem like we can care about someone more than ourselves, but that kind of "love" is hollow. It's not true, deep, connected love that comes from deep in our heart to theirs.

 

So ... You know what you get to do now? You get to find what that is in you. You get to love yourself deeply first. So that your love for others comes from your heart being so damn FULL that it's bursting and overflowing to others. Sound like a good plan? ;)

[Iamme34]

Thank you adrial, and I thought about it.. N yes maybe I do care about this person more than I do myself.. I think in my mind I knew he wasn't going to react well about it...

 

Is it wrong to say that I am unsure on how to love myself? Guess it's been so long since I've focused on me... But I'll be honest I am not sure how to do that.. Lol it may seem silly, but since diagnosed I find it very hard for someone to except me..

And maybe even before the h came along...

I think ur plan is exactly what I need to do,

Just unsure on how to get there... :(