Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Just found out the mother of my child knew she had HSV...

Recommended Posts

As most of you who have read my story know, I started exhibiting HSV2 symptoms in November after having sex with the mother of my child.  When I approached her about it, she denied that she had anything and told me that she had gotten checked out, which "supposedly" came back negative. She even went as far as to get self defensive and went into a whole rant as to how she was clean and didn't have anything sexual wrong with her.  Back then, I said that I didn't think she was telling the truth. Well, last night, I found out I was right. 

A friend of mine who knows a friend pulled me to side last night and said he needed to talk to me. As we sat in his car, he proceeded to tell me that the friend of his had mentioned attempting to have sex with the mother of my child two years ago. Apparently back then, she had replied with a disclosure that she had HSV and was having an outbreak so she didn't want to infect them. According to what I was told, she even proceeded to tell them that she had been on medication for HSV. 

Which means not only had she lied about having being negative and having HSV, but she knew that she had it before she and I had sex. And of course, the worst part is, she gave someone else the decency of knowing the truth and saving their life, but didn't feel that I deserved the same courtesy. Which means she made the conscious decision to destroy my life and didn't care how it affected me. 

She literally lied to my face, and tried to make me feel like I was being disrespectful and out of hand for trying to approach her like an adult, when the entire time she knew something was wrong with her. 

The saddest part is that I tried to be in her corner when she was down and out, trying to help her against my better judgement. And ever since then, trying to be kind to her has done nothing but ruin my life. 

I'm hurt, angry and absolutely mortified at the type of human being she is. It's one thing to pretend nothing's wrong with you, but to knowingly infect someone with no regards to their life or well-being and to even treat them like they're the bad guys is absolutely demonic. 

Since last night, I have been mentally spiraling out of control and have had a hard time trying to rein in my emotions. I'm lost and don't really know what to think anymore. Hope for a cure? People keep saying that's a almost a decade away, and that trend seems to be have been going on in a vicious cycle for the last 20 years. Dating life? I hadn't been with anyone for years and the first time I have sex again, this happens. So now dating is back out of the question. This woman has basically robbed me of my peace, my capacity to date, and even my physical health and I feel like she did it purposely out of hate and without any care in the world. 

Trying very hard not to be suicidal, but after hearing what I heard last night and seeing that there really may not be any concrete cure yet for this disease, despite all the advancements and treatments coming out, it's getting more difficult every day not to feel that way. 




Link to comment


First I am so sorry that this happened to you. You didn't deserve this at all. Please know it is not your fault. 

The way you got H is not fair and is not in your control, however your response to it is. I am sure you are feeling lost and depressed, but please know that your life is not over.

If you are feeling suicidal, please contact the suicide hotline at 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org/ where you can chat online by clicking the chat box in the upper right corner. Your life is worth living and you are worth it ❤️ Your child and the world needs you! ❤️ 

You can still have a happy healthy dating life with H. I promise! Myself and so many other folks on the site are living proof that this is possible... not just for them, but for YOU! ❤️

Reach out if you need a friend. We are here for you! 

Blessings and prayers to you,



  • Like 2
Link to comment

It's not the end of the world!!! I've had H for 40 years. Had an awesome marriage to my late husband. We were together 27 years total. 2 living together and 25 married. He was H negative! He never got it from me. Get control over your life and move on. It's not life threatening! It's not going to kill you!  You have a child to raise! Go out and have a good life! It's what you make it! Life goes on! I'm dating again 3 years after my husband's passing. I'm building my dream home! Move forward my friend!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...