I'm confident but terrified to have the herpes talk

[dancingintherain]

When I discovered that I had h I made a deal with myself not to date outside of the h community. I made this deal because I didn't ever want to go through with the stress of the talk. While having h is not ideal I'm ok with it and accept this part of my life and know that I need to move forward with a positive attitude. Since my diagnosis I've dated but not found 'the one'.

 

Fast forward to my current situation. My very first bf has been in contact with me. We dated for 3 years and because of different things our relationship broke down and we split up. He says that he has loved me for 25 years and a day has not passed by without him thinking about me * cue the rainbow and unicorn birds tweeting music.

 

He would like to start rebuilding a relationship with me. I'm over the moon and feel the same way. But then I realise my h situation. * scratchy record sound.

 

I'm confident to tell him but terrified.

 

I hope that his love for me will be strong enough to conquer all. We plan to catch up again in the next week or so and I will tell him at this time. I have been making notes about how to present h as positively as it is possible. I'd appreciate some extra advice on how to tell him my situation. I'm praying to the universe that he will accept me h and all.

 

Kindly

Ditr.

[mr_hopp]

Hey Dancing!

 

Welcome! First things first ... Have you read the ebook yet? That covers a whole heck of a lot and starts to open the door to what the Opportunity is all about.

 

Here's the link to download the H Opportunity disclosure ebook:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

After you read it and you have followup questions, feel free to tack 'em on here!

[dancingintherain]

Hi! Thank you Adrial

 

Yes I've downloaded and read the e book many times : ) and I've made quite a few notes on what to say from it. Thank you for this great resource Adrial.

 

I'd really like some moral support and advice from anyone who has been through the talk. Even though I know I will have the h talk I'm feeling quite scared about what I need to do and say.

[mr_hopp]

Hey DITR!

 

Well, give us more of an idea of what aspects of the talk you're struggling with so we can help you more than a generalization of what to do and say. It's different for each person, so what are the fears and hesitations for you?

[dancingintherain]

I've had a think about this and my greatest fear is passing herpes onto him. Even though the chance is small it's still possible and very serious. If he wants to move forward with our relationship it's going to be awhile before things get intimate because we need to rebuild friendship, trust etc. But when/if it does come time I will be really scared about the 1-4% chance of passing herpes on. How do I shoulder that responsibility? I guess we would both be taking on the responsibility but still in the end it lies with me.

 

Another fear is that I don't want to let him down. He's so happy and beyond excited with finding me after all this time. He's telling people, that are close to him, about me. What if he can't handle my news? I don't like to let people down.

 

Thanks for helping me work out my fears Adrial. I hadn't thought about this on a level deeper than just plain being scared to reveal this part of me.

 

[dancingintherain]

I had the talk and it went well : ) I was very nervous but I just started talking and the words came out of my mouth and I felt surreal and apart from the situation. Just getting started was the hardest part. He's ok with my herpes. I'm feeling so happy and relieved! I think relieved that it's now in the open and I can enjoy reconnecting without a dreaded fear. I'm glad I chose sooner rather than later to disclose.

[Lost1234]

Glad everything worked out for you :)

Isn't that relief afterwords feel like ten thousands pounds lifted off of your shoulders... That's what it felt like for me. Congrats. Good luck in the future. Hope you guys reconnect and have a long life together. You deserve it! :)

[dancingintherain]

Oh it really does!! It was like coming up for air and suddenly all of the problems melted away. Thank you @Lost1234! I wish you the best too :)