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Educating my Partner


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I tested positive for herpes 7-10 days after sexual intercourse with my partner. When I tested positive, he asked “how do you have herpes? We’ve had sex before and before you I haven’t had sex in two years, and ive never not used a condom and only been with two people”.he’s been nothing but supportive, but I fear one part of him thinks I was unfaithful within the last month. Meanwhile, I know for a fact I’ve never had symptoms like this until this last week after the previous encounter. So if we’re both being honest, how could this have happened? Was he carrying it the last few times we had sex and he didn’t transmit it? Regardless, I’m lucky enough to have someone so sweet. He did say, well if I did give it to you, we both have it and we’re gonna navigate everything together. 

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Wow, what a situation. I always wonder how that would play out if I was in your shoes. The last thing you want to do is throw your partner under the bus or have it turned on you. So happy that he's understanding, and now you both can move forward. Sorry that it happened. Praying that the both of you don't have any outbreaks in the future. 

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Hey @Happygirl17,

It sounds like you've been through a lot lately, and I'm sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. It's great that your partner has been supportive throughout all of this, even though it's natural to feel a little confused and uncertain about how this could have happened.

It's true that herpes can be tricky and unpredictable, and it's not always easy to determine when or how someone was exposed. @AnnieO made a great point about not wanting to throw your partner under the bus or have it turned back on you. It's important to focus on moving forward together as a team, rather than getting bogged down in who might have given what to whom.

As you navigate this new chapter in your relationship, remember to prioritize open communication and honesty. It's okay to have questions and concerns, and it's okay to seek out more information and support as needed. Just remember that you're not alone, and that with time and patience, you can both come out stronger on the other side.

Sending positive vibes your way!

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Notes:

  • My mother is now in hospice with end-stage cancer, so I am at her house a lot these days helping where I can until she passes. Thank you in advance for understanding if I am not as quick to respond as I normally would be. This is a precious and bittersweet time …
  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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