I can’t believe this

[Ari678]

(I’m 22, F)Okay so the doctor told me I was hsv 2 positive yesterday and I immediately told my mom, best friend , and the guy I’ve been dating on and off for the past almost 3 years. It wasn’t him that gave it to me but he’s been so kind and understanding but I just know there’s a big chance we aren’t going to last because of this. So right before he and I decided to get serious I had sex with someone and this happened…. It seems like my life is over and I have a 3 year old and it just makes me so sad how everytime he even wants to kiss me I barely want him to touch me or my cup or anything even tho it’s genital I just feel bad about everything. The guy I’m dating is getting checked tomorrow but I doubt he hasn’t bc we haven’t even had sex since I had sex with the other guy but he just wants to be sure bc he said kissing counts even tho it’s type 2 so I guesss…. I just feel like he’s going to end up leaving which is fine but the part that really scares me is never finding someone to love me or accept me unless they have hsv as well. It’s so depressing and I feel so ashamed. 

[mr_hopp]

Hey there @Ari678,

First off, take a deep breath. It's a rollercoaster of emotions when you first get this news, but trust me, it's not the end of the road. I was in a pretty similar place when I found out, thinking my love life was doomed.

But here's the real deal: the person who sticks around and is understanding, like the guy you're dating, that's a pretty good sign of their character. You've already got a positive start there. And about your three-year-old, they're still gonna see the amazing mom you are, herpes or not.

I totally get your worries about physical contact. It's natural to be cautious, especially in the beginning. But over time, you'll learn the ins and outs of how herpes works, and it won't be as scary. Educate yourself and your partner, and that'll go a long way in easing those fears. Start with the free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

As for feeling like you won't find love or acceptance again, I've been down that road. It's a common worry, but it's absolutely not set in stone. There are sooooo many understanding and loving people out there who won't care about the herpes tag. Why? Because they will see YOU more than they see a little virus. (And heck, 80% of people who have herpes don't even know they have it.)

Here's the bottom line: you're not alone in this. We've all had those dark moments, but trust me, the sun shines again. Focus on loving yourself first, get educated to keep the anxiety at bay, and the rest will follow suit. It's a journey, but you're strong enough to navigate it. Keep your chin up!