Possible to transmit herpes in a committed marriage after many years?

[Chelsea514]

I’m 55 and married 25 years to the same man and we don’t cheat !!  I got herpes 25 years married and gynecologist said he could have given it to me at any point and that it stays dormant in your system 

[mr_hopp]

Yes, this is totally possible. 20% of all people with herpes will never have an active outbreak, but it can still be transmitted via asymptomatic viral shedding (the amount of shedding depends on the type of herpes, HSV-1 or HSV-2, and the location of the infection — more details/stats on our free ebook & handouts). And 80% of all people who have herpes don't know they have it! So that is a setup for unwittingly passing herpes. That's the first part.

The second part is yes, herpes can lie dormant for years, so either you could have had herpes all along and it's only now popping up, or he could have had herpes for many years and unwittingly passed it to you. The duration before the appearance of the first outbreak after initial infection varies. A clinical study on genital herpes indicated that the incubation period, which could be considered a form of initial dormancy from exposure to the first outbreak, can range from 1 to 49 days, with some cases experiencing longer periods (Thin, 1991). However, after this initial episode (which can be minor, sometimes being misunderstood as jock itch/pimples/rash), the virus can become dormant for months, years, or even decades before triggering a new outbreak.

Unfortunately it's impossible to know for sure how it all went down. How has it impacted your relationship, especially when it comes to communicating about herpes? 

[Veteran]

If it was dormant in his system then it is possible by shedding but I wouldn’t count on that. The asymptomatic term is a clinical term says you don’t have symptoms but you shedded the virus and someone can get it. Now to be logical and doctors will disagree with me but women can’t really know when they are active like men who can look down and know. There is no testing that can find if someone is asymptomatic. They hardly test people who have it because it is hard to do unless you have an outbreak and test that. Maybe he is asymptotic but unlikely you got full blown herpes from it. Menopause causes sores that mimic herpes. It goes misdiagnosed. Halley Berry came out in the news recently where she was misdiagnosed with herpes. They tested her and found out it was menopause. Maybe get some more answers I hope this helps.