An Interesting thought

[Itcanhappentoyou885]

Could the way that you handle finding out that you have Herpes be directly corelated to the ideas that you had about others when you heard that they had it (prior to you having it)? Would YOU have been an easy person to disclose to?

 

In my opinion, what makes Herpes so "dirty" to everyone is that it has become a secret? But why? Because like Adrial keeps saying (in far more intelligent words than my own) is that it really ISN'T about having Herpes at all. It is about your deep dark issues that you have been pushing down and away. Fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of sex... whatever social conditioning you have experienced up until this point, including TV, but not limited to your parents.

 

If someone outside of you and came up and repeated to you the same words that you tell yourself. You might want to beat the shit out of them. I would consider coming up with a new voice in your head that "beats the shit" out of that negative voice. Just sayin.

[mr_hopp]

Yes, this is exactly right! I've seen it time and time again coaching people who are suffering with herpes. I've also talked with plenty of people who have herpes, but it's never been an issue for them. One huge difference between them is the ones who are suffering have always had negative judgments about "those dirty people with herpes" and the ones who don't suffer never judged herpes to begin with — they basically just see herpes as coming with the territory, a possible risk that comes from choosing to have sex.

 

So because we've always judged "those dirty people," one fine day we end up with herpes and if we don't check ourselves, we automatically toss ourselves into that pile of dirty people who deserve to be judged. The work that we get to do on ourselves is to recognize how that's bullshit and reverse the pattern. ;)

 

And ICHTY, I love that you have your attention on that negative voice, but you see how beating up the negative voice is just more of the same? That negative voice on some level is just trying to keep us safe. It has a pretty whack way of doing that, but that's its purpose. So when we notice it, the way to relate to it is to simply notice it. Don't judge it, don't start yelling at it for yelling at you. ;) Notice the voice, thank it for trying to help, but let it go. The more aware we can be of the voice, the less unconscious power it will have over us. It will turn from a screaming voice of "truth" to a soft whisper of past insecurities.