Being in a relationship with Herpes

[Skittles1991]

Hello :)

 

Just last week I noticed a few sores/lesions on my vagina and went to the doctor about it and she suspected Herpes! I couldn't believe it, I am so devastated :( I got a swab test done but wont get the results until tomorrow and it is killing me, literally all I can think about. I would also like to say that only a day before I noticed the sores/lesions I had a pap test and my doctor did a swab for herpes and it came back negative. Can this just be because no sores were present? Even though the sores showed up the next day?!

 

Could someone also please tell me through experience when they have an outbreak, does the affected area become sore and itchy? beauce the sores I had did not bother me at all, only when I wiped after the toilet. They only bothered me that the fact they were actually there haha. Has anyone had symptoms like these and not actually been herpes?

 

I am also in a committed relationship with my partner whom I love very much and had to go through the ordeal of telling him what was going on :( It has been a rough week and sometimes hard for us to mention! Although we have had a talk and he told me that he doesn't plan on being with anyone else so he said we can learn to live with this virus If it turns out I do have it. Which has made this whole situation a little easier.

 

I have been with my partner for 6 months now and we have had unprotected sex majority of that time, and he hasn't shown any symptoms of herpes, does that just mean he could have contracted it and not had an outbreak?

 

Also my partner has not been tested so we are unsure how I contracted herpes. Will antivirals really help stop the spread to my partner if he does not have the virus? Because we don't want to have to use condoms for the rest of our lives :(

 

Sorry for all the questions, I am just really scared and would love some info from people in a similar situation :)

 

thanks so much!!

[Skittles1991]

Also forgot to mention my partner is a type 1 diabetic, so my fear and anxiety of passing it on is driving me insane! I dont want to give him another incureable disease :'(

[WCSDancer2010]

1) Wait for the result and try to BREATHE in the meantime. This may all just be an ingrown hair ... esp given that you were swabbed only a day or so before.

 

2) You should probably both get blood tested for Herpes just as a precaution so you both KNOW your status.

 

3) Yes, anti-virals DO work - they cut the chance of you spreading it to him from 4% down to 2%. To put that into perspective... you have a 2% risk of dying in a car accident this year.

 

But for now... BREATHE... and let us know how things turn out..

 

(((HUGS)))

[Skittles1991]

WCSDancer2010,

 

Thanks for your advice! I am in Australia and have found this forum so helpful, everyone is so supportive :)

 

I had a talk with my partner last night about my worries and he told me he will want to be with me no matter what the outcome of this test is! Hearing that has put my mind at ease, because I couldn't even imagine my life without him :(

 

But yes, I think he should get tested as well just to be sure as I am not 100% who I got infected from, It may of been my boyfriend who infected me.

 

Well I get the results tonight and will keep you posted.

 

Thanks again :) xo

 

 

[Optimist13]

Hey Skittles 1991,

 

My symptoms were exactly the same as yours when i had my first 'episode' I wasn't in pain at all but I knew what it looked like (just 2 tiny blisters) so I went to the docs who confirmed. I had also been tested about 3 times previous to this. In the 3 years before I was diagnosed I had only been with 1 guy and we both tested negative (standard STI tests don't include herpes). That is why so many people don't know they have it. Since I have been diagnosed I have told a few close friends and 2 guys. Turns out 2 of the close friends and 1 guy had it too. It is so common. If your test does turn out to be positive it isn't the end of the world. I think the only reason I had an 'episode' at all is because I was really ill and run down for a few months which triggered it I think. Might that be the same for you? I must have been carrying it for at least 2 years or more before I had any symptoms. So it will be really hard for you to find out when/who you contracted it from. Chin up fingers crossed for a negative result. If not, welcome to the club and you know where you are should you need support :-) xx

[Skittles1991]

Hey Optimist13,

 

It so nice to hear other peoples stories and how they have dealt with it. I have talked with my partner and he said he hasn't had any symptoms of H before. But that would mean that I would have contracted the infection from an ex boyfriend and not known until this episode came up. Also my partner and I have been having unprotected sex marjority of our relationship and he still hasnt shown any symptoms, could this mean he could still have it and not had an episode?

 

Im really am trying to be optimistic about all of this, but it is so hard.. there were a few days last week where I couldn't stop crying :( But knowing I have told my partner and he is okay with the risk has made me feel alot better.

 

The day before the sore appreared it did feel like a cold was coming on and I did get really sick, the doctor told me it was gastro.

 

I am really hoping this test is negative, but I have a feeling it wont be :( thanks again for your support guys, it has really helped!

[WCSDancer2010]

Many people don't have ANY symptoms at all - so unless your BF has been tested you will not know if you got it from him or the ex. But really, does that really matter now? Getting him tested would only let you know how much precautions you need to take - none if you both have it, anti-virals/etc if he doesn't have it.