The Craziest Week of My Life!!!!

[CRobl7]

Hi everyone!

I was diagnosed with HSV on Monday night after going to the ER due to the extreme pain I was in. The doctors weren't very helpful, and kind of just shooed me out of the room after what felt like them slapping me in the face with the info >:( I just want to share the crazy storm of emotions I've gone through this week because I'm sure someone out there can relate. Who knows, maybe my experience can help someone else.

 

I immediately sought out another doctor and actual testing to confirm the diagnosis. I'm sure this was due to denial and hoping that the ER doctors were wrong! I was so angry/confused/hysterical. I just kept thinking: "This can't be happening. I'm educated, I've taken sexual health courses, I have a degree, I have a career, I'm in a monogamous relationship with the only person I have EVER been with...this can't happen to someone like ME!"

 

I know, I know, I'm horrible. Now that I've had time to accept the situation, I am so ashamed for having these thoughts. It really bothers me that there is this awful stigma associated with something that is just so common, and I hate that I let that stigma influence my reaction. Seriously, this is something that needs to be changed!

 

After the denial, I quickly started feeling sorry for myself because of the pain I was in. I'm pretty sure I was acting like I was terminally ill :-/ Luckily, I have had a really awesome support system throughout this week (including a sister that actually found this site for me because she wanted me to feel better :') She is awesome). My family, friends, and coworkers have all put up with me during this roller coaster of emotions. They've cried with me, comforted me, and now that the pain is pretty much non-existent they are encouraging me to get on with my life like I normally would.

 

So yeah, I have been extremely lucky in the love department. I feel like I've gone through all of these stages and feelings in such a short period of time due to all of the amazing people around me. I know that not everyone will be as fortunate as I have been in this sense, and the process of coming to terms with living with (h) will be rough for some. I'm just so glad that I was introduced to this site because just reading other people's stories and comments has been uplifting. You are all amazing! I only hope that I can now contribute and help others too! :)

[WCSDancer2010]

CRobl7 - first - welcome to the forum. Glad your sister helped you find us!

 

And yes, your reaction is not untypical ;) " I'm pretty sure I was acting like I was terminally ill" made me laugh because you will see that reaction a LOT on here ;P

 

"This can't be happening. I'm educated, I've taken sexual health courses, I have a degree, I have a career, I'm in a monogamous relationship with the only person I have EVER been with...this can't happen to someone like ME!"

 

Herpes (and ALL STD's to be honest) is an equal opportunity disease. And it's a slippery little bugger too and can hide for many, many years before you get an OB. So do you know if your significant other is H+? Probably best to find out so you will know if you need to take precautions (anti-virals, no sex during OB, etc).

 

It sounds like you are dealing with this pretty well now but do know that we are here for you if you have any questions or you just need to vent ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[childofstars]

So brave! Everyone here is, i wish i found this site 2 years ago when i found out. The first outbreak is the most painful and scary, its all scary, but my best friend whos a muslism always tells me with all pain theres relief. Stay positive, herpes has made my life better in someways too. Its a bs filter, it makes you see the world way differently and it makes sure whoever you choose to love next in the future they have to take that risk showing that they really love you. Stay strong! This website is awesome and its full of amazing people!!!

[Abbsley]

It's like reading my own diary. You already have such a healthy approach, I can totally tell! And I agree--much needs to be done about the stigma of genital herpes. Much needs to be done about STD education in general. Herpes needs better testing and treatment, too, while I'm at it.

[CRobl7]

Sorry I'm responding super late. Things have continued to get crazy since my first OB, specifically me losing my job! :-( Luckily I was able to get a 3 month supply of anti-virals before my insurance coverage expired (and if I don't find a job before that supply is up I plan on driving 15 mins to see if I can get them at a cheaper price in Mexico! lol)

 

My doctor finally got back to me with the results of my blood work, and she verified that I am H+. I don't know if this is typical, but she said the blood test didn't tell if I had type I or II; however, it did show that it was a new virus and not one that had just been suppressed in my system for a while.

 

As for my fiancé, I have been trying like crazy to get him to go get tested!!! At first he said he wanted to wait for my results. Then, he wanted to just enjoy his vacation (he's a SpEd. teacher). Now he's giving me the excuse that it doesn't matter because it doesn't change anything (We've been together for 8 yrs, engaged for 2ish). I think he's just afraid to see a doctor, which I understand, I avoid them at all costs too. I would still like to know if he is H+or not though :-/

[WCSDancer2010]

Ah - so you got the IGM back - that one tells you about recent exposure. Did they do an IGG test? You may want to go back in 3 -4 months to get the diagnosis tightened up so you know which one you have.

 

Some people are afraid of the truth.... try to get him to an STD clinic - it's not *quite* the same thing - they will just draw the blood and give you the results.... and any advice you may wish for (AND more accurate than most Docs... :p )