My story

[ItCouldHaveBeenWorse]

Ten years ago, when I was in 8th grade dated my first love. We dated until the middle of ninth grade. We had never had sex but we definitely kissed. Over the years I was in one serious relationship for 5 years. He was the only man I had ever been with and I was his first. A year ago, he cheated on me and I broke up with him. I got tested and was negative for everything. So I chose to be celibate and took some Me time. A fee months ago I finally decided to start dating again and my first love got in touch with me. We talked for a while and decided to make things official. The first time we made love he gave me herpes. I was diagnosed with genital herpes on November 1,2013. I told him and he was there for me. He didn't know he had herpes but he did get tested, and tested positive. I was upset with him at first because I'm 24 and I've only had two sexual partners. I had tried so hard to prevent things like this. I didn't feel like I should have gotten herpes. And on some level my heart was broken and I felt disgusting, ashamed and ugly. But I realize I cannot completely blame him. It's a decision I made and now I have to live with the consequences of my actions.

[WCSDancer2010]

ICHBW:

 

The one sentence that stood out for me was: I didn't feel like I should have gotten herpes.

 

I think it would be fair to say noone "should" get herpes. If you read on here, very few if any could be considered "promiscuous" ... most were in or entering a relationship where they had expectations or hopes that this person had life partner qualities. Many, like you, were extra cautious - they took their time between relationships, had the talk about STD's, even took precautions. But herpes is a slippery little devil and most (like your BF) have NO CLUE that they have it. Heck - if I had not got the HSV2 as a teen I would have been possibly passing HSV1 around because I had cold sores since I was 3, and I might well have never known that it could "head south".

 

There is no place for "blame" here. In fact, I just heard a great description of blame yesterday... blame is a way to discharge pain and discomfort. As you said, it was a decision you made .... you based it on trust and your BF was as honest as he could be because he didn't know his status either.... it just is what it is.

 

That said, what a great story of teen love and how you found each other again. As your name says, it could have been worse. And that is a great attitude to have :)

 

Peace

[Sabrinalexandra]

You can do everything in the world to try and prevent these things from happening, but shit happens and it doesn't matter how moral of life you have led. That being said, this is not as world ending as you may think it will be! It is the stigma that we have all (or at least most) of us bought into, but you can change your thinking on this! You are not disgusting and have nothing to be ashamed of, it happened. It is not a matter of deserving or not deserving, viruses are amoral. What you do from here and how you think about it from this point forward are going to make all the difference! The sooner you figure this out, the less you will suffer.

 

Read the facts sheets, they will put things into perspective. Know that you are not disgusting, you are most certainly not alone, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and it really isn't a big deal , it has just been stigmatized and you don't have to buy into that!