Doctor won't give me suppressive therapy for herpes ... what can i do to protect future bfs?

[Strawberrygirl]

Here in Europe, my two gynecologists don't want to give me the supressive therapy. They don't consider it necessary at the moment and think it is not healthy to take for the rest of my life.

I just want to take it whenever i have a stable partner...to prevent transmission...

If i go on episodic treatment plus always using condoms...what are the chances of giving it to my partner?

[WCSDancer2010]

Annnnd that, my American friends, is one of the problems with a Nationalized Health Care System (I lived in the UK and had similar issues with not getting what I thought was best for me or having to fight for it several times)

 

Well, if you don't have a BF right now, I wouldn't worry about it but when the time comes, what you have to do is refuse to leave the office until you get what you want. Seriously.

 

I had a Dr in the UK who didn't want to change me to a different OBGYN for my second child. The first one had scared me into a cesarean and then I learned i didn't need it. I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) for my second but Dr #1 refused. So I had to go to my family Dr to ask her to recommend another more open minded Dr. She didn't want to do that so I just sat there and refused to get up until she did it. Dr#2 said to me after my first exam "Shame a strapping big lass like you having a cesarean the first time around". And yes, baby#2 came out just fine!

 

So you might want to see if there is a different OBGYN group you can go to, and if not, tell them to be prepared to do battle if you get a BF. ;)

[WCSDancer2010]

Another solution would be to start having "episodes" a LOT and call in for more "episodic scripts" so you can get a stash to at least get you going if you get into a new relationship while you go to battle with the Dr's... :p

 

Sometimes you gotta outwit the system :))

[Strawberrygirl]

does viral shedding decrease over time? im serioslu afraid they will never accept to give me the supressive therapy.

[Strawberrygirl]

the problem is that they will check me...and if they see no symptoms they wont prescribe acyclovir

[Strawberrygirl]

Do you know any couples who had sex without condoms...and never got infected?

[WCSDancer2010]

They will want to check you every time??? Wow. They got a lot of time on their hands ... just give them all the prodrome symptoms - itching, burning, tingling. Go in there every day until they give up... sometimes you gotta wear a system down :p

 

The shedding and episodes *should* decrease over time. But every body has a different reaction to the virus AND it depends on YOUR immune system and stress levels.

 

Honey - you have to collect all the info you can to justify the supressive therapy and be ready to do battle. Print out all the studies about how it cuts risk by AT LEAST 50% - perhaps 90%. Go in and be ready to out maneuver them with statistics. You CAN get what you want ... you just have to be willing to sit in their office and out-wait them.

 

And if necessary, (if you are ballsy enough ...LOL) start yelling that you can't believe they won't give you supressive therapy to keep you from spreading an STD... :D

 

Seriously though, you are going to have to stand up for what is right for YOU. I agree that you probably don't want to be on it when you don't have someone in your life..why put chemicals in your body when you don't need them? BUT, you are trying to be responsible for another person's health and they have to acknowledge that.

 

This can be a great life lesson for you for learning to stand up for YOU! Just because they are a Doctor doesn't mean they are GOD. I used to think that until I had my run-in around the births of my daughters. I was sooo freakin mad that I had an unnecessary cesarean there was no way I was going to do it again if I didn't have to. Now, if I had had an outbreak, yes, of course I would have. But I wasn't having one when I had my first daughter and I have had Irritable Bowel Syndrome ever since. It's my reminder to always become informed when something is going to affect me and to not let ANYONE do anything to me that I don't feel is right for me....EVER.

 

 

[Strawberrygirl]

Ok, i will try WCSDANCER2010! But as long as im single, ill just wait to see how things evolve with my H. The risk of transmission is fairly low with condom though right? Like 4 %?

To the guy you did end up giiving h to, did you have any symptoms when you gave it to him?

[WCSDancer2010]

I gave it to my Ex Husband - at the time (early 80's) Herpes was not really discussed much - I had plenty of symptoms but I thought it was a heat rash or ingrown hair and we'd have sex as soon as it stopped hurting so I was likely still shedding. Took awhile - can't remember exactly but 1-2 years - for him to show symptoms...who knows exactly when he got it tho given how it can hide for quite some time :p

 

Normal risk f-m is 4% - condom should take it down about 50% to 2% .. BUT - the problem is most of us get at least some of our blisters outside the vaginal area and those areas are not covered by the condom as far as skin-to-skin contact. So you would still need to be very careful if you had any suspicion that you were having/had had an outbreak in those areas.

[Strawberrygirl]

ok thank you for the information.

I honestly dont know but i think as long as i have no outbreaks or any sort of tingling symptom plus use condoms i should be okay. Im thinking of using the supressive therapy only when we decide to not use condoms anymore (that is after a year of being together at least...)

Thanks again for your help! :D

[Strawberrygirl]

is it normal for some people to get blisters due to friction of sex?

[WCSDancer2010]

Don't know about blisters but certainly you can get painful sores that feel like a blister... :-O

[Strawberrygirl]

okay, does that happen a lot to you?

[WCSDancer2010]

Well, it's been awhile since I've had a partner... and it hasn't been a regular problem in more recent years. But when I was younger, I seem to remember it happened a fair bit but I'd also say that we didn't have as many lube options/etc back then. If you are having this issue regularly find an adult store and try a bunch of different lubes - some of the ones they have now can add a little - er - spice to your lovemaking .. ;)