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I dont know if im in the right place..


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Hello everyone. So I am completely overwhelmed and exhausted and I have not been diagnosed, but decided to join a supportive feed of some kind being that the feeling of the possibility of being H+is pretty...upsetting to me.

 

I am a 25 year old college student, with zero friends or family in the area. I have been here for 1 whole year and have been through a lot of interesting life events, to say the least, but I must say this one takes the cake.

 

I met a young man in march of this year and although he was not my type I liked him immediately, he told me fro the very beginning he had two little rug rats:) from a previous relationship "that just didnt work out" in the long run. I accepted this and with open arms invited into my life...side note: I have been single for about 4/5 years after releasing myself from a long running unhealthy relationship that took me this long to finally get over, even now the memories of THAT ONE make me wince.. We had a great summer together and decided to plan a four day vacation to Jamaica over labor day weekend, I was soooo excited I ordered bikinis from somewhere not in America, got a wax, all that good stuff.

 

All of a sudden two weeks before our trip he text me "Im sry alex ur great an i really like u alot but i still have feelins for my kids mom and i would like to c my fam bac together someday..sry". I lost consciousness. this was the third week of August and for about a month after that he continued to text me saying that he knew he made a mistake and that he would never forgive himself blah blah blah, then he started to ignore me (finally some peace!). A week before halloween he began texting me out of the blue telling me he thinks of me constantly and all that mushy stuff men say, for a month the texts went on I half assed entertained them, I wish I had fully ignore them. I missed him greatly but he had hurt me down to my core and I knew it would only happen again, but then two weekends before thanksgiving i bumped into him downtown and I honestly dont know how but ended up on his couch, then in his bed, but I did. Three days later his children's mother contacted me telling me she had been with him sexually all summer he had given her an std previously and he also SUPPOSEDLY likes to pay for sex..he also sells DRUGS(!!!) and apparently hooks up with women through that,she also told me that in mid September he had a herpes "scare" but that he was"clean" I told her I washed my hands of this situation and left it alone(planned on getting tested neways). THENNNNN 1week LATER she texted me to inform me that he does intact have herpes. I never heard from him about it. decided to go get tested and had a negative igg test...after doing more research I have discovered it was to soon to a blood test and have been having muffled cramps in my left leg and this morning a bump in my bikini area and later in the day a second one, both have mostly disappeared. I am hoping if anything there will be something(no pain please God, ima whimp) to swab If I do in fact have H. I know this is pathetic and long but I wanted to give detail. I'm scared and feel in my heart that I have H and I am disappointed that I put all this trust into someone who appears to be...not a good guy.

 

 

..WOW that was long. sorry.

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lostndLOST:

 

First - Welcome. Whatever your H status, you are welcome here. And BREATHE! Whatever happens, you WILL be fine...promise ;)

 

As Aimee said, it is too early to test unless you have an active outbreak (ie, blisters). In the meantime, don't let your brain get too carried away. I expect you have had "odd feelings" and pimples in your nether regions in the past and just ignored them. Now every tingle will seem like "herpes" until you are tested. So try not to let it take over your thoughts until you can get tested.

 

One thing H does do is it shows us who the REAL people are in our life. In your case, it will hopefully be a Herpes Scare that will be one of those "life lessons" that come our way that will help you to make better choices in partners and to make you slow down in the future and try to see the person for who they really are before you get physically involved.

 

(((HUGS)))

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