Newly diagnosed, BOTH partners have herpes

[new_at_this]

So I was just recently diagnosed with HSV. They didn't tell me what type, they said it didn't matter and that "herpes is herpes". I only had it on my genitals and there were only 4 spots. They immediately put me on Valtrex, and four days later the spots were gone. I did have a raging flu for about a week with it. I have a lot of questions so hopefully they can be answered easily if I number them:

 

1. When I google herpes, it looks AWFUL AND TERRIFYING. What I had was completely manageable and not a big deal (aside from flu symptoms which I read was typical of first outbreak). Would mine look like this if I didn't get on the medication?

 

2. If my partner has it, and we want to get intimate in an oral fashion, can it spread to my face? Or will it just stay where it started? I can't imagine never being able to have oral sex again…? I definitely don't want it to get on my face like the pictures online...

 

3. Since we both have it and obviously can't get it twice and both had minor outbreaks, should we be on suppressive therapy for any reason?

 

4. Should I not be taking the meds to build up my immune system for future outbreaks? Or does it matter… I don't want my outbreaks to get worse…

 

If anyone can help me that would be so great, I'm really scared about this and feeling really lost.

[WCSDancer2010]

new_at_this - first - Welcome to the Forum - glad you found us!

 

#1 - this is one of those times that Google Images is a scourge - yes...some outbreaks are horrid...but those are likely either immune compromised people or people who did nothing to get treatment... you never know how each person will express the virus. Some never show at all - others have recurrent outbreaks for some time. Some have one mild OB and never have another. You just never know - but the supressive therapy at least makes it more bearable for most. In your case, supressive therapy would likely only be useful for major OB's seeing as you both have it.

 

I'd personally wait a little while for oral sex until your body really gets the antibodies to the virus up to reasonable numbers - but otherwise you should be able to have oral sex. And it WOULD help to know which kind you have - if you have HSV1 genital, it DOES prefer the mouth region.... if it's HSV2, it's unlikely it would transfer to the mouth.... not unheard of (we do have a one person on here with HSV2 oral) but the odds are way lower.

 

Do know that you WILL survive this and it WILL get better...promise :)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

[new_at_this]

You are so wonderful! Thank you for commenting!

My boyfriend and I both have it. Both doctors told us it didn't matter what type and that "herpes is herpes".

Our outbreaks are minor (a few tiny bumps) and so I'm wondering if we can still have sex during an outbreak? If he has a few bumps and we have sex, will it cause me to have an outbreak? Or will it not affect me at all since I already have it?

We have a life ahead of ourselves and just trying to find out the dos and don'ts of living with this issue.

[WCSDancer2010]

If you don't know what each of you have, then you definitely don't want to have sex during an outbreak. You want to get thee to a Dr (not the ones you've been to...they are really not properly informed ... try an OBGYN/Planned Parenthood/STD tesing facility) and get them swabbed. HSV1 is NOT HSV2 ...why the heck would they have them as two types if they were the same thing???

 

You see, if one of you has HSV1 and the other has HSV2, then you could each cross infect each other and now you would both have both kinds. Perhaps not the end of the world (depending on your personal views on it) but why take the chance....one is enough to deal with, eh?

 

You said you were recently diagnosed...do you know if you got it from your partner? And if you acquired it recently or awhile back? If you got it from your partner then you share the same one and the issue of sex during outbreaks isn't an issue...you both have it so you won't generally reinfect EXCEPT during the first few months while your immune system is adjusting and building antibodies to the herpes. So if you only recently acquired it, I'd be cautious for about 4-6 months until you body gets some immunity built up.

 

Hope that helps a bit... I would get swabbed during your next OB so you at least know what you are both dealing with :)

[victoriaxxx]

I want to say that they are kind of uninformed when they are saying "herpes is herpes" because the thing is HSV-2 is harder to get orally, and HSV-1 is oral herpes !! So then you would have a harder time getting down orally. Lol.

 

Don't look at those photos on google ! They are horrifying D: That is all I have to say.

[new_at_this]

Thank you again! I did get it from my partner. I asked again at my last visit and they said the tests for typing are unreliable haha. Well how about you do them anyway because I want to know good heavens!