Learning the truth..

[victoriaxxx]

Came out to my "best friend" that I have had since I was in the 6th grade about my herpes. Apparently she has been spreading that I am a dirty whore and that I caught an STD because I sleep with too many people.. She has been telling people about my business and about my life. Obviously I have came out to a lot of people, and I don't really care who knows, but it is not your business to tell people.. You know ?

 

Like really ?

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Awww - (((HUGS)))

 

Once again our H friend is acting as your wing-man - culling the ignorant and ugly from your life..... but I'm sorry that you had to go through that. IMO people like that just do it to make themselves look good - I expect she perceives you as a threat so she has to make sure she can use anything against you to make you look bad.

 

So, in the end, the people who matter and who you want around you will see her as the insecure so-and-so (trying to be polite here :p ) that she is and she will lose friends in the long run because really, who wants that kind of person as a friend...because she'll talk about everyone like that, including themselves.

 

The good thing is that you are already "out". She mis-read you and your confidence in yourself and your condition will win out in the end. And people will see that. So good for you. Good for you for standing up and not allowing people like her to continue the ignorance. and Good for you for just being YOU. :)

 

Peace my friend ;)

[victoriaxxx]

Well first off I am sorry to say but she is a horrible mother. I have been there for her as moral support and to help her live a better life. Not do drugs in front of her daughter or bring different men home every single night.

 

Or you know ? I came out, and everyone that has asked me about it I say " Yeah I have herpes, so what ? Is it really any of your concern ? Or are you scared that I am contagious." Once again getting people out of my life. I am glad I have this, because I am losing a lot of people. A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T DESERVE TO BE THERE. Being young you think everyone is your friend..

 

Now I feel like the only friend I have is my Herpes.. because it's showing me peoples true colors.

[WCSDancer2010]

Being young you think everyone is your friend..

 

A lot of "older people" haven't learned that lesson either :p

 

One suggestion: When someone approaches you about it, try to not get on the defensive. Your comment that you posted sounds like it came from a defensive place. How's about trying something like "Yeah - I have Herpes. I would have rather told you myself but now that you know, do you have any questions you want to ask me about it? Because I'm on a mission to educate people about the truth about Herpes. I'll bet you don't know half of what you think you know or that you really SHOULD know. So..ask away!"

 

Yeah - alot will just come out with some BS, and then you can tell them to get lost, but a few will actually ask you stuff and you can then be part of the solution....you can reduce the stigma just a little for some. And they in turn will hopefully talk to someone and pass it on.

 

One person. One conversation. One step at a time. We can get rid of the stigma.

 

:)

 

 

[victoriaxxx]

Yeah I know. I have a bad habit of getting on the defensive. Even if I don't mean to get on the defensive.

 

I want to educate people and everyone that asks started asking me questions.. & yes I tell them the answers.. I even show then the handouts that we have. So they know ?

 

One person at a time. Sorry to say, but some of the people who are talking about me karma will hit them one way or the other.

It's not my fault it's not any ones fault. Yes I will approach it differently.

 

Even though I already came out about it and I am okay with it myself well... It still stings. It will always sting just a little bit.

[WCSDancer2010]

Of course it will sting - she betrayed your confidence. You thought she was your friend. Well, she just lost a supporter and it sounds like she needs a lot of support.

 

What is laughable is she has a child ... you have Herpes ... both were unintended sexually transmitted conditions. But I expect she doesn't see it that way from what you say...in fact, it sounds like she is beyond any help you could give her. Baby. Drugs. Men. Yeah. Big mouth, Safe to say you are better moving on. ;)

[victoriaxxx]

She is.. But you know me ? I am such a caring person that I will do anything to help her. I buy her daughter food, clothes, etc.. I even was cleaning her house because her kid doesn't even need to be in a house like that. Needless to say I was the one raising her child.

 

Sorry. UGH

[WCSDancer2010]

Sounds like a call to Child Protective Services is in order. There's only so much you can do and if she is doing drugs the child needs to be out of there...

[victoriaxxx]

Yep. I think so also..