Pain takes new form every day

[Pepps82]

Hello everyone,

I have just been a bystander on these discussion boards the last two days since I'd been diagnosed.

Luckily, the emotional part has been at bay due to my extremely caring boyfriend. Since I first had symptoms I'd been sharing every aspect of them with him (I talk a lot and feel you need to be comfortable sharing info about your body with whomever you share your body with). Actualy, I thought I had saddle sores from my spin class and was sharing that info with my friends and family. I am keeping it at the saddle sores story with them obviously.

We are not sure if my bf has it yet, as I had no idea I had it and just had first outbreak starting last week. Actually a week ago today. We've been together 6 months. And although 6 months sounds like nothing, I'm 31 and he's 44 and we know this is it. We're going to live this life to the fullest together.

I've broken my nose, had surgery, broken my arm, had H1N1 and many other strange, painful experiences, but this takes the cake. I am on valtrex now and that jelly you can put on the sores that seems to work for 15 minutes, but you can use it only every 4 hours. I've tried blow dryer, baths, aloe, etc. Taking advil and tylenol on a regular basis. Thought about taking nyquil to knock myself out to just sleep without horrid interruptions.

As soon as I think I'm feeling better, I get knocked down with some new mountain of pain. No one talks much online about the varying pain, the stabbing feelings, the prickly needles, the baths you take every hour, practically passing out on the toilet, walking from room to room hunched over. Only wearing a robe for the past two days.

Missing work! I can't believe I've been out of work 2 days. I have a very professional job and I just think, wow, my awesome colleagues would probably puke if they knew why I was at home and that I have to pee in a bathtub in order to prevent screaming out in agony. My colleagues keep texting me "are you okay?" because I normally am not sick. Plus from the outside, I look fine. I mean I thought I could go back to work tomorrow and I acted pretty chipper when my boyfriend got home from work. I even prepared my breakfast smoothie beforehand to drink tomorrow on the way to work. And I was looking at new running shoes to treat myself to for when I can actually run again. I was even walking upright and sitting regular on the couch.

But then I got this weird, cold, intense ache sensation. A NEW pain! Its like every 8 hours I experience a new pain or itch or tingle that is unbearable. I was balled over on the couch, breathing heavy and dizzy. Unreal.

Am I just nuts? Do people actually miss work like this? And walk around in robe like a monster? Even my dog seems to realize something is very wrong.

Okay. I'm done venting. Just not sure why every darn thing says "you can treat herpes" but never talks about how to get through the HELL of the first outbreak. I don't care about that stuff right now. I need to survive missing work, life, fun, etc before I can comprehend the rest of this virus. If the second outbreak is anything like this, I will seriously need to be knocked out to survive it.

Thanks for listening.

[HerryTheHerp]

Welcome to herpes! Yes, it's more fun than a period, menopause, an audit, and a visit from your mother-in-law all rolled into one. It's so fun that it's recommended 2 to 1 by ASU grads when compared to gonorrhea, syphilis, and the dreaded "I'm late" phone call with some guy named Rob that you did shots with at Pedro O'Horney's.

 

First, it sounds like you have a great relationship with your boyfriend. Keep talking, keep standing by each other. Like you said, that helps tremendously. Second, you and your boyfriend need to go get tested for both HSV1 and HSV2. It doesn't sound like you know which you're dealing with and it's important for both of you to find out. If you and your boyfriend have been together exclusively the past 6 months, your tests will be 100% accurate at this point.

 

As far as treatments go, there's a lot you can do for the pain. Personally, I found prescription strength pain relievers to be a Godsend for that first OB. After that first one, a simple aspirin has been enough. You might also want to try adding some extra Lysine to your diet and rubbing the affected area with aloe cream and/or zinc cream; both of which really help soothe the skin. You will also want to meet with your doc and get a prescription of Valtrex or one of the others so you have it on hand and ready to go for subsequent OB's.

 

You're not nuts, and yes, most of us have missed a day or two of work because of this li'l virus. I work at home and spent the first week of my first OB wearing a kimono or walking around naked. Well, ok, I do that normally, but that week I blame it on the herpster.

 

And, yes, the pain you're experiencing is quite normal for a new infection. It's your body adjusting to the virus and it'll come and go at random for a while. I get pains all over my body that come from out of the blue and go away just as suddenly. They do get better and less severe in time, maybe not by the second OB, but they do start to diminish. It's like a roller coaster, that first drop is the worst, and gradually the virus loses steam and slows down as long as you take steps to reduce stress and live a healthier lifestyle.

 

Anyway, keep reading the forums, keep searching through the info, and if you have any questions, post 'em to the board and someone will always respond.

[WCSDancer2010]

Pepps82

 

First - Welcome! Glad you found us!

 

And so sorry you are having such a horrid time of it with your first OB.

 

One of the issues with Herpes is it doesn't play by any rules when it comes to how severe the initial OB's are, or if you have any at all. In fact, you could have got it from your BF... it is entirely possible he is one of the 80% who are "silent carriers" who have no idea that they have Herpes at all. So as Herry said, it is important that you both get tested to find out which one you have and if he has it at all.

 

Over time it WILL get better. One thing you may want to do is track your diet and stress in a journal and see if something comes up repeatedly that might be a trigger. And Google info on the "Lysine/Arginine balance and Herpes" - you may find that you are eating something with a lot of Arginine in it that could be triggering an OB (I plan to do a blog on it soon - when I can really do some in depth research)

 

And one thing I DO know, from being a Massage Therapist.... when someone who has previously been healthy gets a disease or injury that can't be easily treated or even diagnosed (ie, noone can tell them how long it will take to get better), they can easily sink into a depression that they will NEVER get better. I see it every day with people who come into my office with an ongoing back issue ... most of the time they have been dealing with it for a month or so ... some for longer, but they have already given up hope of life returning to "normal". They wonder if they will EVER get better. When in reality, most will get better with some help/treatment and TIME. As in, it may take 6 months to feel close to normal again...and that for many is FOREVER. Assuming we all live to be 80 years old (ie, 960 months) 6 months is a BLIP on our life-calendar. It just sucks to be in that time frame right now, wondering if it will be 6 days, 6 weeks, or 6 months till we feel better.

 

There are many great conversations on here, as well as Adrials blogs, with ideas to help you reduce the discomfort (One of the big hits is an Epsom Salts bath...but instead of just dropping it right in the tub, sit in the water then dump an couple handfuls in the water between your legs near the OB's so it is concentrated there). You may also ask your Dr for a Lidocain ointment to help reduce the pain. And I personally use Ammonium Alum on mine as soon as I feel any bump or tingle - I dampen the area and dab some on neat (it's in a powder form) and it dries them right up.

 

You WILL get better .... one day at a time right now....

 

(((HUGS))) my friend

[Pepps82]

Thanks everyone.

After I wrote this, the pain started to subside thanks to Valtrex and Percacet (sp?) and I hope to NEVER ever have an outbreak of that severity again. I don't know how I could get through it a second time. I stopped constantly scouring the internet for Herpes info to just take a break from it being on my mind so often.

Call me a baby, but not being able to tell my mother and have her console my pain in that way that only mom's can, has been so very hard. I almost know that she can tell something is wrong/different with me.

I am now onto tackling the emotional aspects. My boyfriend's results came back yesterday. He is free and clear. So I have had it since before him, but was unaware. I had a blood test a year ago that came up negative (this was after someone I was dating knowingly had Herpes, told me they didn't. I slept with them and then they felt guilty when I got a UTI and THEN, the truth came out).

Since that, I dated just three people and I trusted them when I asked people "have you been tested? Do you have any STD's?" And two of them I insisted get tested before we slept together.

And therefor I felt secure in that I did not have the infection, which wasn't the case obviously. And unless everyone starts using condoms and/or abstaining from sex, this cycle in society will continue among every demographic.

Sex is fun. New sex is exciting. But not worth this.

I thank the stars above for my mature, caring and understanding boyfriend. And also my brother, who had a scare last summer and has been oh-so understanding.

[WCSDancer2010]

So one thing I will say regarding your mother... *most* mothers will take their children under their wing no matter what ... AND, most people in my age group (50-somethings) have lots of friends with Herpes. Your mom might be a lot more understanding than you think. Certainly, she probably does know something ins't right... maybe you need to trust her on this....

 

And great that you have an understanding and supportive BF.... and a great brother. That is a beautiful thing.

 

And regarding condoms - well - we have several on here who have caught H WITH a condom. The only way to be sure is to abstain for 3-4 months in a new relationship then go to an STD clinic together. However, hormones, ego, and a need for personal touch makes most of us take chances when we know better.

 

As it is, this particular STD is really just a nuisance.... once your body gains control over it, and you learn your best ways to deal with it, it will become something that is mostly on the periphery of your life.

 

(((HUGS)))

[PrimordialOoze]

Dear Pepps, I'm going through the same, except other than this forum I have no one to talk to. Yes the pains are strange and weird and heavens forbid you have one moment of relief, something else starts. Forget about what anyone else thinks. The most important people in your life are the only ones that matter. For the pain, itching, burning and numbness, the only thing that's worked is neem oil for me. I believe you can buy neem cream as well. It also helps with help healing the leisions faster. If you are having nerve pains, there are some medications that your doc can prescribe. I hope you get over this OB soon. Sending healing thoughts your way. I am just finishing my first OB and have run smack into my period. xox ~ me

[Pepps82]

Thank you both very much. I am thinking more and more about telling my mom. I am having my parents over for dinner tomorrow and will have a better grasp on what to do then.

I was feeling much better, the back pain subsided last week and I began running and skiing again.

And then today I felt that weird "pinch" feeling I felt with the first outbreak. Like a tiny crab was biting me. I got home from work, dreading to see what was going on.

Sure enough, second outbreak is already here! 1st outbreak started just three weeks ago and I'm already on #2???

I first freaked out. Then I called the doctor and my bf. He said "don't go running, stay inside and rest."

I realized, NO. If I stay inside I will dwell on it, make myself feel worse. I put a bandage on the OB (it is on my buttcheek thus far) and put my running pants on.

So I ran 4 miles with my dog. It helped clear my mind. I showered right away and headed to store to get meds.

I hope with all my might that this is no where near as awful as the first OB.

I miss my old life.

[WCSDancer2010]

A lot of people get sever OB's close together to start. It will get better soon. And good for you for not letting it stop you...odds are the run did more to relieve your stress which will help you get over it faster and if you get on the meds immediately you will knock it down faster.

 

(((HUGS)))

[PrimordialOoze]

Dear Pepps, There is no old life or new life, life is right now. We take whatever fruit life throws at us, and do our damnedest to chop that friggin thing with a samurai sword. The way I look at it is that the more OB's the better my body is getting at fighting. So imagine your antibodies getting ready to friggin' chop those lil' (h) buggers to smithereens. You are strong! You can run 4 miles! I can't manage 100 mtrs. Just be strong for a little longer. This too shall pass, so stressing will do nothing to time. Much love x ~ me