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Trying to approach herpes diagnosis with positivity

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Hi everybody! First I just want to say that I'm so thankful I found this place. Ive been reading post after post and feeling much less "alone". I'm also very grateful for some of the advice on how to deal with my first outbreak, which is brutal. My first OB came at a really terrible time as I have been applying for health insurance but yet to be accepted. Which means no insurance and, worse, no doctor. After my period ended last weekend I thought I was getting a rash from my feminine products but as it kept getting worse, I started freaking out, especially since I didn't have a doctor at the time to go see. So 3 days later the "rash" was so bad my boyfriend took me to the ER. My mom insisted on going too and actually ended up in the room with me since I have a pretty high anxiety about doctors/hospitals. This experience was terrible to say the least. All my nurse techs were male (I'm female :)) and if they were trying to hide their disgusted faces, they were terrible at it. The ER doc came in for a total of 40 seconds. Didn't introduce himself. Took a quick look. Said to the nurses "looks like herpes" and walked out. Not a word said to me at all. I remember just crying and staring at the ceiling while they did a swab and took blood. My mom tried asking questions but none of the nurses seemed to know what they were talking about. They told me to find a gyno (having no insurance that'll be fun) to send the test results to. I applied to be a patient at a couple offices but they wont get back to me for a week or two. In the meantime I'm taking acyclovir and even though I don't have the test results back I'm 95% sure that it is genital herpes. My mom was convinced my ex husband cheated on me but my boyfriend had an "almost" healed cold sore and we had oral sex. Unfortuantely, "almost" healed isn't good enough. He is also getting tested but has been amazing. It may sound crazy but this experience has made us feel stronger and feel closer than ever. I've always tried approaching hard times with positivity and he is helping so much with that.


So, its been a week since the OB started and I just want to start feeling better. As long as I'm sitting without moving an itch I'm "ok" but using the bathroom has been a nightmare. Peeing in the bathtub helps a little but the sting is still unbearable. Up until yesterday, the worst was when my underwear would stick to me and felt like I was a getting a Brazilian wax. Thank goodness someone on here mentioned using diaper rash ointment. I want to hug you, whoever you are. I work as a CNA but in a group home for adults with developmental disabilities. I tried going to work yesterday to just "tough" it out. Well, four hours in, I was in tears. The walking and lifting make the pain 50x worse. And I couldn't explain to anyone why I was walking so funny. I'm also a single mom to two toddlers so sitting on the couch all day is impossible. Is it best to rest as much as possible or is it better to try to keep up with your regular schedule? Did the walking/lifting I did at work make it worse? I guess I just want to hear someone tell me that it IS getting better. Although, like i read in someone else's post, it seems like a different kind of pain every few hours. Also, because I'm scared to pee, I'm not drinking too many fluids. I know drinking more water will dilute the acid but that also means more traumatic trips to the bathroom.


I'm looking forward to starting my emotional healing as soon as my physical healing is done. I'm really happy I found a place like this where we can talk openly and in a "no judgement zone". It's very difficult dealing with something so painful and life changing and not feeling comfortable telling people because of the stigma. I'm hoping being on here will help :) Thanks.

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hi Likealamb,

welcome to this website, welcome of feeling accepted and understood. First thing its really great that you see herpes as a challenge and that you try to change it in something positive, this is a really good start and sure its fantastic that you have a supportive partner.

I am sorry for you bad experience in the hospital , the most doctors seriously don't seem to care ,they treat you as a number and that's it , I think this kind of doctors really lost it , they should change they jobs even if its only herpes but I guess this kind of person are not more sensitive with a cancer diagnose neither :( .

sorry that you seem to be in really bad bad pain ,so I am not really sure if this came from oral sex but yes it could be every person have different symptom's.

I do have herpes 1, my immunsystem is constantly down and I never experience the pain you talk here about (cant walk or pee), so for me it sound more like hsv2 but you should get at test even without an insurance if possible.

At the beginning the symptom's are much stronger and YES it will get much better after a while, the first 6 month are the worst for most people because your body get used to that virus. Some are only get 1 outbreak and then virus don't come back for years, you will see it the next weeks.

The strength of the symptoms can change from day to day, sometimes I don't have any symptom's and next day I get an itchy feeling without any reason but as I said the most people don't get any symptom's after a while, so if you have a healthy lifestyle and you don't have any serious sicknesses your body should get used to H in short time.

Try to eat really healthy , not to much drinking ,all lot of fesh fruit and vegetables.

Maybe you can try to put L-Lysine ,vitamin C or coconut oil in your diet , a lot of people have really good experience with that and for this you don't need to go for a doctor :)

I hope you get better soon .

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Hello and Welcome!


So sorry about the crappy doctor in the ER and the nurse techs. I'd be tempted to march back in there with the handouts and ask the Head Dr if you could come in during one of their meetings and teach them a little better bedside manner, as well as the facts about STDs.


If you can't get in with a doctor, get to Planned Parenthood. They are a great resource and they will be dealing with a lot of STD issues.... you are liable to get as good or better care there than anywhere else ... AND they will do sliding scale and accept payments for treatment.


A lot of the pain will be in part due to exactly where you have it - if it's on the labia near the urethra, yes, it's going to be a nuisance to pee (try a hand held shower head if the bathtub isn't helping enough) and you may want to go commando as much as possible. I actually don't wear underwear much at all now and I rarely get OB's but it's also because I've had it so long my body fights it well now. And try sitting in a warm bath and dumping 3-4 handfuls of Epsom Salts right between your legs. Works for some to dry it up fast.


And GET THOSE FLUIDS IN YOU! Your body needs them to fight the virus! If necessary ask the Dr for Lidocaine gel when you get in to see them.


(((HUGS))) my friend. It WILL pass... its only been a week - think of how much time that is compared to the full timeline of your life and you will realize it's really not that long... it just FEELS like it ;)

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Thanks Judith and WCSDancer2010 for all the advice. I'll definitely look into the l-lysine and I've been drinking more water which made urinating less painful. I did a little comfort eating when I first found out that included a lot of chocolate but I found out that isn't good for the healing and could maybe encourage future breakouts? is this true? I try to eat healthy and workout and I don't get sick very often but I don't want my little cheat meals to cause something more than weight gain.

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