Help! I think I gave my fiance herpes.

[Herexperience]

Help! I think I may have just given my fiance herpes.

 

I'm not new to the "H," I contracted this from my then fiance 28 years ago. I have never had sex without disclosing my condition and my fiance is no exception. I told him before our first sexual encounter two years ago as this has been my golden rule. He has known what the risks are. However, understandably, he is in his (text) words: "Scared, confused, sad, hurt, and many more adjectives." I am terrified! I am terrified of losing him. I am terrified of hurting him. I am terrified of the pain he may endure. It is my worst nightmare.

 

The reason why I say I think I gave him herpes, is that we are not certain, he thinks his jeans just may have been too tight yesterday. But, last night, after he told me he had a sore spot on his "tip," I panicked. I don't know if the symptoms that then started showing up on me shortly afterwards were psycosomatic or truly we were experiencing an outbreak at the same time. I didn't think that could happen. We had sex Sunday morning when I had no indication anything was wrong and I'm on daily valcyclovir. Then Wednesday night, he had a spot and I started feeling my usual "Oops, I think I have an outbreak coming on" feelings, (tingling and aching in my right foot which then spreads up my sciatic nerve all the way to my buttock).

 

I immediately insisted that he take one of my 500mg valcyclovir and then another this morning before he headed off to work. When I asked him to go see his doctor, he said, "What will I tell him?" I told him I would go with him, but I'm afraid he won't. I offered to email some more information to him and he asked me not to. Now through some research today, I realize that I should have given him 1000mg valcyclovir for an initial breakout and really need to get him to a doctor.

 

He has the HSV-1 oral herpes which I do not. I am planning on sharing the "GOOD" VIRUS / "BAD" VIRUS article at: http://herpeslife.com/good-herpes-virus-bad-herpes-virus-the-truth-about-hsv1-hsv2/

 

Help!

[WCSDancer2010]

@Herexperience

 

There is no way to know without a swab - it could be a friction rub, but it may be H. Given it's not a blister, I doubt you can get a culture from it to be sure. What will he tell the Dr? That he loves a woman with H and he thinks he may have caught it from her. And the Dr won't be phased at all... although I would recommend you NOT go to a Family Dr/General Practitioner...they are often next to useless with their info. I would go to Planned Parenthood...they are much more up to date on the latest thinking regarding STD's. Yes you may have to pay out of pocket but they do sliding scale and payments and it's worth the $$ to get correct advice and support.

 

 

(((HUGS)))

[Herexperience]

Thank you WCSDancer. Yesterday was very stressful and agonizing. It is one pimple, and that wouldn't worry me so, but I'm still having this sciatic nerve thing which is my indication that I am shedding. The thought of this grumpy old man having something to really complain about (and being able to blame me for it), is scary. I've been giving him my valcyclovir and I think I am just going to have to go and get more from the doctor as he is in denial. I told him I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't at least force him to take the pills and at least he is complying with that request.

[WCSDancer2010]

If he is in denial there is nothing you can do about it...men can be so friggin hard headed, eh??? LOL

 

Catching a first OB really early with the meds makes a big difference about how well they work.

 

And if he turns into a grumpy old man and blames you, you have to choose whether you are willing to live with that. He knows your status and the risks. Sometimes we just lose the crap-shoot of life... but it's up to YOU to be clear about how you will ALLOW him to treat you my friend. Dr Phil says "You teach others how to treat you". Very wise words indeed :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[Herexperience]

Very good advice. Thank you very much.