For anyone feeling guilt, anger, and for anyone recently diagnosed with herpes

[moonpie6]

I just wanted to say a little something to all of you who might need to hear it.

 

I recently got into a discussion, an argument really, where someone was attacking a woman's choice to have multiple sexual partners. The other person said something like "Well, you can be a slut, you can throw out your morals, but don't cry when you get an STD." And someone else stepped in and said "Disease has nothing to do with morality." WOW! I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that this disease says NOTHING about who I am as I person.

 

The next thing I wanted to share with you guys are some thought patterns and exercises that have helped me let go of feelings of anger and guilt. For a while, I was angry at the person who had infected me. "I asked them if they had anything and they said no...They KNEW they had herpes, they lied to me. They did this on purpose. How could they be so cruel?" These thoughts played over and over in my head. Those feelings brought me NO comfort in the end, only depression, feelings of defeat, and misery. I had to accept responsibility. I am responsible for protecting myself and I chose not to. I am not a victim. (Please note, I am referring to MY own experience becoming infected, which was through consensual sex. If you were a victim of rape, this is not intended to invalidate your experience or feelings.)

 

After you have taken responsibility, now it's time to forgive yourself. You didn't mean to do this to yourself, you made a mistake. You are human. Try apologizing to yourself. Really. Say "I'm sorry I did this to you, I'm sorry I caused you pain, I'm sorry this happened." Allow yourself to feel love and compassion for yourself. And then, forgive yourself for being human and making mistakes.

 

Please try to keep looking on the bright side. This will only affect you as much as you allow it to.. :) Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are disgusting or unworthy or love or sex. This is a minor skin condition that has been blown way out of proportion by our society. It helps to really look at it, put it in perspective.

 

Finally a quote that has helped me:

"Every winner has scars." - Herbert Casson

[WCSDancer2010]

@moonpie6

 

Amen - such great words of of wisdom :)

 

Sadly most people won't have that - er - discussion with people about morality and STD's because we have been convinced to keep all this to ourselves... we can't talk openly about it for fear of being labeled dirty, loose, or slutty. Good for you for trying to put that person straight...perhaps you can print out the Handout and give it to her and tell her she needs to get EDUCATED about STD's. I got H2 on my very first ever sexual encounter. We have a young lady who is a virgin who got H1 genital from a BF through oral sex... talk about proving you don't have to sleep around to get an STD?

 

As I keep telling people... LIFE implies inherent risks... some bigger than others. Driving a car is a great example where people do it every day, and each does certain things to reduce their risk of injury (seat belts, car maintenance, obeying laws, etc) but yet people die or get injured every day through no fault of their own. It doesn't matter how you got it, what matters is how you react to it and live your life. H can either become the excuse for everything that is wrong in your life or the catalyst to getting you to eat healthier, reduce stress, remove the negative people from your life, and do work to improve yourself. The choice is yours...