It's Been 6 Months...

[Yadira]

Hi all,

So it's officially been over 6 months since I requested to have the herpes blood test which resulted in a surprising positive result for HSV2. I still haven't had an outbreak. I still don't know how long I've had it or where I got it from but that doesn't matter to me anymore. The last guy I was with before I tested positive is still coming up negative (he's a great friend) and the man I'm with now is negative too. They seem to think I don't have it but tests rarely lie. So I'm just aware of my body and have since moved on with my life. I did a little experiment (with the blessing of my boyfriend) to see if men would treat me any differently. I met 2 guys, went on some casual dates and then disclosed that I have HSV2 and neither one of them cared. I was surprised by their reactions actually. They both kind of said "if a woman has a great personality, is smart, funny and spontaneous then it doesn't matter." Of course I stopped "dating" them and did not sleep with them but they were both awesome guys and I was just seeing them to see what their reactions would be and It helped me in the end because I became even more comfortable with disclosing. In the beginning my boyfriend thought my little experiment was funny & he told me a real man wouldn't care because he would see how great I am. And he was right. I'm very lucky to have such an understanding & strong man. The only issue I'm having is with oral sex. He loves to do it and my status doesn't stop him. I know the chances are extremely low that he would get it from going down on me so i guess that its more of an issue I just have to deal with and let go of.

So for any women reading this, just know there are great guys out there and having H won't limit your choices. Just be the best version of yourself and people will love you no matter what. And try the disclosure experiment. It really helps!

[WCSDancer2010]

That's awesome Yadira. And I love your "experiment". I've been doing the same thing (sans BF... I'm still in the search phase...LOL :p ) but I put my status on my profiles on the online sites I'm on and I'm still getting plenty of hits... and having men tell me they think I'm amazing and brave for my honesty.

 

I'd say at least half the stigma is in our own heads. And it would lose it's power if we could get better education out there. But for now, it is what it is and we just have to go into each new relationship with the faith that if the person is for us, they will see beyond the stigma and see the beautiful person in front of them :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[Guest]

Yadira: You might try to think about any irregularities (rashes, yeast infection, etc.) in your vaginal area over the last couple of years, if not more. It's important because if you have an outbreak, you need to realize it and not have sex with your boyfriend at that time.

[Yadira]

@unhappy1 oh believe me I know not to have sex if I feel or see anything irregular. I am very aware of my body, as we all probably are.