First herpes outbreak! Please say it gets better!!

[RaW2695]

Hi, I started getting super sensitive around my genitals about a week ago but had no visible signs of a reason for it so carried on as normal including having sex with my boyfriend of a month and a half! In the last two days the blisters have appeared and they are crazy painful and making everyday life pretty tricky!

 

Now my Doctor has told me that I have Herpes and I am waiting for my tests to come back I am really worried I will have infected my boyf but am not sure if it is him that gave it to me? I haven't had sex with anyone else since before christmas and the Doctor says I was probably infected within 2 weeks- I know I need to talk to him but I have no idea what to say so any advice would be amazing!

 

At only 18 I am pretty terrified that this is going to me the rest of my life much more complicated if all OB are like this (can't bend down to pick things up and in a lot of pain). Any advice on how to minimise its effect?

Thanks guys

[WCSDancer2010]

@RaW2695

 

Welcome! Glad you found our site :)

 

First - BREATHE! You will be fine! I've had this since I was 17 and I've had a great life, a 20 yr marriage and a couple BF's since.

 

The good news is that it DOES get better... unfortunately there is no "formula" about how long YOUR OB will last and if/when you may have another. Every person has a different experience. But for the vast majority, the OB's settle down over time (some only have 1 OB, some may take months to get to a point where their body can control it better) and Herpes just becomes a nuisance that you will learn to control.

 

For now, get on Anti-virals if it's affecting your day-to-day life that much. And two of the top things that seem to help almost everyone are to go commando as much as possible and to take warm baths with Epsom Salts - get in the tub and drop 3-4 handfuls of the salts right between your legs so it's really concentrated. That helps to dry them out. The secret is to to a "belt and braces" approach ... internally (meds, healthy eating, etc) and externally (commando, Epsom Salts, Lydocaine ointment, zinc ointment, etc) ... the trick is to figure out what works best for you.

 

Best thing to do right now is get your BF blood tested for HSV1 AND 2. If he comes up + for one, that's likely where you got it. The Dr is right - odds are you just got it from him. He may have the HSV1 (cold sore) version and unwittingly given it to you with Oral Sex, or he may have got HSV2 somewhere and not known that the "rub" that he figured was from sex was an OB, or he could have been asymptomatically shedding and had no clue at all.

 

I would print out the handouts from here and tell him what the Dr said (including that it's possible he has it and didn't know it) and get him to get tested. 80% of those with H don't know they have it. Tell him that.... so he doesn't feel attacked.... and ask him to go with you to the Dr if necessary for a better explanation if you don't feel confident in telling him yourself ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Handouts:

http://bit.lyh-opp-diagnosis-handout/

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

[YoungAndReceptive]

I'm not too much older than you, I'm 22 and I just experienced my first OB a few weeks ago as well, which was also very painful like yours. Everyone has claimed first OB are by far the worst.

- How I coped with my first OB was I basically laid in bed commando in a night gown for a week and a half, only leaving my house to go to work which then I wore granny panties. The epson salt baths were VERY soothing, I took them at least 3x a day. I poured water on myself when I peed to stop the burning. I drank a lot of water and then stool softer 2-3x a day. And once I was diagnosed I asked the dr. to prescribe pain killers which was a life saver for me. && once the dr. prescribes your medicine you will start feeling relief fast, at least I personally did. I hope you'll have luck with any of these.

 

As for telling your bf I don't think I'd have remotely good advice. I don't have experience with that since the person who gave it to me was a one night stand. But dancer's advice sounds amazing and always is amazing.

 

The first symptoms and diagnosis is a very scary and upsetting time, but like dancer said, it gets better! I was just diagnosed with genital HSV1 a month ago, and in that little time I already I feel like a new person compared to when I found out. When the physical pain goes away, you start to realize that you can still live a normal and healthy life. It's more of a mental adjustment we'll have to face.

 

My advice would be to stay positive, keep on moving on, and leave this upsetting time behind. I found this website to be very helpful and gave me a more positive outlook and I am finally going to see a therapist soon to leave any negative feelings in my past. Would that be something that you think would be beneficial to you?

It's all new now and I'm sure will take awhile to adjust. Being HSV positive will only consume us if we let it.

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you sweetie. Having HSV very well complicates life in some ways, but there are far worse things that can happen compared to this. Try to always keep things in perspective when you're feeling down.

<3