STI test results come back on Wednesday.

[SGuybrush]

So, about a month ago I had unprotected sex with an old friend of mine, the next day I noticed a bit of inflammation and one white lump on the top of the penis, I totally freaked out, so I went to see a doctor the next week and after she checked me out she told me I have Fordyce spots (little pimples on the mouth and groin) and Balanitis (inflammation down there), and that was probably it. She prescribed me some antibiotics (Doxycycline for five days) and after that everything has been normal, except for one little red bump, it doesn't itch or burn or anything and it has almost disappeared since I took out the hair on top of it, so I'm guessing it was just an ingrown hair. At most there's a bit of uncomfortable inflammation down there, but I guess I could attribute that to the hot climate and the tight jeans.

 

Anyways, my friend is getting her STI test results on Wednesday and I'm getting super nervous. I've been reading your stories and I'm relieved there's such a great support group out there, full of such wonderful people. But still, I'm freaking out. The fact that herpes sometimes is asymptomatic is making me feel some deep anxiety, to the point of making me feel physically and psychologically ill. I'm thinking that the best case scenario is that she gets diagnosed with some kind of curable infection.

 

The stuff that happened only happened because my girlfriend broke up with me (amicably) and after a while I started to feel very lonely. My friend and I have been very supportive of each other, but still, I'd like to go back with my ex (I love her madly), but I'm afraid she will reject me if I get diagnosed with (h), and even if she doesn't, I'm terrified of passing it on to her, or anyone else. And I feel bad because if she hadn't broke up with me, none of this would've happened (to be fair, none of this would've happened if I had abstained), so there's that. I've been feeling a a lot of guilt and repentance is eating me alive. I've read you can control OB's by eating right and relaxing. So I've started to do all that, even though I'm not sure I have it.

 

Thanks to Adrial for his web page and posts, I'm trying to convince myself that no matter what happens, this will be a life changing experience, one for the better. Thanks in advance to anyone who replies to my post, any support is hugely appreciated.

[SGuybrush]

I'm growing terrified of coming back HIV positive or something like that :(

[Sparklepony]

Your fears are not unjustified. It's very scary not knowing. I'm sure almost all of us here that have been diagnosed with herpes spent a good deal of time panicking about there being more, worse things lingering. I know I did. STAY OFF OF GOOGLE, and just breath for now. No matter what, things will be okay.

 

Take this fear as a lesson to be extremely careful about your sexual health. Have the uncomfortable before sex talk about each others statuses. Trust me, that talk will be A LOT easier than a "so I think you gave me something" talk. Get tested after every partner unless you KNOW before sleeping with them that they are STD or STI free.

[YoungAndReceptive]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I was just diagnosed positive for genital HSV1 a month ago from a one night stand. The waiting for the test result ate me alive too, to the point that I went to the ER (because my gyno wouldn't see me) and was diagnosed just by the visual.

But I remember going through the not knowing, hoping it was a curable STD, and my gut telling me I had it. It was a very scary and upsetting time, but your waiting time is almost over and then you'll have the relief of knowing whether it's what you want to hear or not. In my opinion, the waiting and not knowing was more scary then the diagnosis.

 

Please listen to what Sparklepony said, stay off google! It makes the stress worse and thats one of the worst things to do to yourself. Google is scary! If anything stay on here until you get results, we all know the truth about H, google doesn't. But I suggest do whatever helps you relax.

 

I hope whatever you are going through is curable, but even if it's not and it is H it is not the end of the world. Obvi you would rather not have it but, there are so many worse things that can happen to a person and when you put it all into perspective H really isn't so bad.

 

I don't have the extra stress to disclose this to a partner since I'm not ready to get back out there, and the person who gave it to me lied and knew he had it. However, in your case if you decide to tell your girlfriend her response will demonstrate her true feelings. If she is accepting then you picked the right person for you and someone who has mutual feelings of love. If she isn't as accepting, that will be a hard hurdle to get over but that is not the right person for you. There are a lot of disclosing success stories on here, don't assume the worst.

 

I 100% felt the same way you do, having this and going through a serious STD scare when you don't know what it is really changes the way you look at people who you should sexually or romantically get involved with. Very life changing, not life ruining.

 

Please relax. You don't know if you have H, so don't jump to conclusions that you have it.

Good luck and I hope you feel better!

 

[WCSDancer2010]

@SGuybrush

 

First - Welcome...

 

I'm going to come from a different angle, because from what you are saying, it's extremely possible that you are really freaking out over nothing...from what you are saying it sounds like all your symptoms were not herpes, or anything else for that matter. It sounds to me like you have extreme guilt about your tryst and you feel you almost deserve to have something...anything... as a punishment for your evening with your friend.

 

And I feel bad because if she hadn't broke up with me, none of this would've happened (to be fair, none of this would've happened if I had abstained), so there's that. I've been feeling a a lot of guilt and repentance is eating me alive.

 

First, this has NOTHING to do with your ex breaking up with you.... it's all about you being lonely and horny my friend. AND, there is nothing "wrong" with that. You were broken up.... you still ARE broken up. YOU did nothing wrong... you just were looking to a safe and familiar person for comfort.

 

@Sparklepony is right - just see this as a great lesson about taking care of your sexual health. AND realize that all non-monogamous sex includes risk. But so does getting in your car, many jobs assume risk, even walking across the road can bring injury or death. And like riding in a car, we do what we can (request testing, use condoms, etc) to reduce our risk. And STILL things can go wrong. And that's just life.

 

To BREATHE my friend... you only have a couple days till she gets her results. Until then, use that time to reflect on what POSITIVE things you can do to move forward from your ex.... things that will affect your emotional health around the breakup...rather than obsessing on all the "bad" things that might happen ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[SGuybrush]

I've been off the internet for a while, but good news, the blood test she took came back negative! But I'm not sure if the test included H... So I made an appointment for some cultures and I get the new results today D: . I'm quite nervous but I feel that I can now handle the diagnosis, it's not going to be the end of the world, right?... So come what may!

 

I guess you're right, WCSDancer2010, I shouldn't be so judgmental of myself... I just keep thinking that I'd do everything different if I could go back there, I know It's kind of pointless, but I still struggle to let that go (But it's getting better).

 

It truly has been a life changing experience, one for the better, definitely a great lesson on taking care of my sexual health. The wealth of information and support you guys give is heartwarming :D Thank you so much, @Sparklepony, @YoungAndReceptive and @WCSDancer2010, going through this has been easier thanks to this webpage and forum and you people (: