Lots of questions: Herpes prodrome, herpes transmission and medication, lemon balm (Melissa)?

[KLB]

I have had GH for about 18 years now. I was never formally diagnosed but my ex-h had it (before we started dating). He disclosed to me but of course waited until we were in bed together to disclose (grrrr...). Anyway, this was back in the mid 90's when there was very little info available about it and doctors were just telling patients to avoid sex during active outbreaks. And of course there was no suppressive therapy back then either. The one time we didn't use a condom, I got my first outbreak about a week later on the back of my upper thigh. He was able to look at it and tell it was H so I never bothered to go to the doctor.

 

I suffered with many outbreaks for the first couple of years (all butt/leg area....never had one in the genital area that I have seen). Finally I had enough and asked my doctor for Valtrex which I have taken daily since. It has been a real life saver. I went from having OB's about every month to maybe 1 per year or so and even when I get them they're really minor.

 

Fast forward to now...I am seeing a co-worker. We live in different states so don't see each other often but we have a trip planned in a few weeks. I have yet to disclose to him. Honestly, I'm waiting until I get my IGG test results back (decided to get tested so I know for sure whether it's HSV 1 or 2..will disclose regardless but wanted to know for sure).

 

So the stress of possible rejection and possibly spreading to him (if he doesn't reject me) are KILLING me. We started seeing each other in April and I swear ever since then I have had daily prodrome symptoms (no OB's). Like horrible daily burning shooting pains. The weird thing is I'm getting them in places where H would never appear (like my back, hands, arms, fingers, face, feet, knees, etc.) I'm also getting weird stabbing/shooting pains in my vagina. I've NEVER had anything like this even when my OB's were at their worst.

 

So now I don't know what to do. I'm worried if I go through with the trip and these weird pains are still occurring that I'll spread to him. On the other hand, is it even possible to have prodrome for nearly 3 months with no relief? My diet is very, very clean. I started working with a personal trainer around that time and am working out alot too. I am not taking any supplements with arginine although some protein powder I was using had arginine in it but I quit using it well over a month ago. I take vitamin C, lysine and echinacea for immune support.

 

I don't know if it's the anxiety or it's really prodrome. How can I tell the difference?

 

I also wanted to know if any of you have been in a long term relationship with someone negative and didn't spread to them. I am soooo worried about him contracting it. Would it help if I took a double dose of Valtrex for the days that he and I are together?

 

Finally, does melissa (lemon balm) oil help at all? I was thinking of applying it before sex (maybe to him as well?) as it has shown some good anti-herpes abilities in testing.

[HerryTheHerp]

Well, given the fact that you've had HSV for a while, I highly doubt that the symptoms you are experiencing are prodrome related. Is it possible? Yes. Probable? No. Stress can trigger anxiety, and that can trigger all sorts of weird bodily reactions. Be careful because too much stress can trigger an outbreak.

 

Is it possible to be in a long term relationship and never transmit the virus? Yes, and it happens all the time. With proper precautions, suppressive therapy, condoms, avoiding sex during OB's, there are couples together for decades with no transmission.

 

As far as doubling your dose of Valtrex, the most I've ever heard of for suppressive therapy is 1000mg a day. This is something you should talk to your doc about. You'll want to start suppressive therapy at least 10 days before your rendezvous for maximum benefit as it takes that long for the drug to build up in your system.

 

Does Melissa balm work? Yep. I've used it, and many others have as well. Works very well. It won't work in preventing transmission, though. It helps heal an outbreak, but that's about it.

 

As with any disclosure, get your facts together, practice the talk, and then be confident when you deliver it. That'll go a long way towards making him feel at ease.

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

@KLB

 

Hello and welcome..

 

I personally feel that your anxiety *could* be causing the pains...whether they are prodromes or not..... in part because the more you focus on something the bigger and more extreme it seems. So I would suggest trying to let go, as much as you can, of your fears and worries.

 

As far as transmission...well, your risk without condoms and antivirals when you got it was 10% ... not wonderful odds but many manage women to stay H- in spite of the risks. For guys it's 5% ... if you take antivirals it goes down to about 2-3% ... with condoms its down to 1% or less.... The guys have a lower baseline risk because we have all those lovely folds of skin around our vaginas .... and in your case, maybe you had shaved and had minor razor burn or whatever that allowed the virus in. Certainly your location is outside the "normal" area...but not totally uncommon.

 

I've been in two 3+ yr relationships... one with antivirals and one without ... and neither got it from me.

 

You may want to up the valtrex to see if it makes a difference...but check with your Dr to see what they say.... certainly upping the dose for a short period won't hurt but you don't want to over do it all the time ... keep working on lowering stress and anxiety. It really makes a HUGE difference ... H LOVES angst!!!

 

(((HUGS)))

[KLB]

Ok, so I got my IGG test back and it was positive for HSV 2 and negative for HSV 1. I figured that was going to be the case but was holding out some hope it would be type 1 then not as easily transmittable. :(

 

I do think my anxiety is getting the better of me. But some of the prodrome I am feeling is in the area I would normally get prodrome. That's what has me so concerned. The fact that it's been going on daily for 3 months is making me think it's anxiety driven so I need to find a way to calm down.

 

I am curious if any of you caught it despite condoms and antivirals. Seems most of us caught it when our partners were not on meds. I've been taking Valtrex daily for several years (1 gram) so that isn't an issue. I'm just afraid it won't work. I've been reading alot about having sex can cause micro tears in the vagina making the virus more easily transmittable.

[WCSDancer2010]

To my knowledge noone got it with a partner on anti-virals but several have got it while using condoms.

 

It sounds like your anxiety, or perhaps something else (we've had a few on here find out something else was compromising their immune system ...and they were diagnosed thanks to H because the non-stop OB's got them to go in and get things looked at) is causing the break-through prodromes. If they continue you may want to get some bloodwork run to make sure something else isn't going on.

 

As for the micro-tears ... that's how we women GET it... it won't make it more easily transmissible to a guy unless THEY get rubbed a little raw...so use plenty of lube if you are playing rough, long, or fast if you find you are getting sores....

[Mxgirl]

"I figured that was going to be the case but was holding out some hope it would be type 1 then not as easily transmittable. "

 

I've been feeling the opposite way. Hoping its type 2 then it would be rare to spread to the face. Is it really easier to transmit type 2? Can you clarify and elaborate?

[WCSDancer2010]

Mxgirl

 

All the transmission statistics are on the disclosure handout :)

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Read that and digest it first then come back if you have more questions ;)