Do I really know for sure that my new partner transmitted HSV1 to me? Or could I have had it already

[sungoddess]

Ok so just found out 2 days ago that I tested positive for HSV1 through a culture. I immediately started showing symptoms the next day after having a very long sexual experience with my new partner. Our second time having oral and vaginal sex over and over for multiple hours in a row. Extreme Burning while urinating, small bump appeared on my vagina, different discharge, very beginning of cold cores in the corners of my mouth and kept progressing rapidly into the next day. Went to my doctor right away and she was very suspicious of herpes bc of these symptoms and also lesions on my cervix. I've never had symptoms before, ever. Bc of my acute symptoms, she said it's highly likely that this new partner was shedding and transmitted the virus to me. Can I assume this is true?? Or is there a chance that I could have had it already and it just so happened to be my very first outbreak?? My partner was asymptomatic.

I need to tell him and this website has been so helpful with what and how I am going disclose this information. I just want to be sure I have the correct information!!

And another question, so if we both have HSV1 and say one of us has an outbreak and we kiss, will that cause the other to have an outbreak also? Or bc we both already have it it's really our immune system that decides when to cause an outbreak?

 

I appreciate any and all feedback!!

This virus has me Confused....

 

[VirusEnhanced]

Hello and welcome. Doctors just love to play the blame game... some suck twisted unprofessional words of "Your current bf/gf must have given it to you, or your current bf/gf must be cheating" I don't know what possesses a medical professional to be so unprofessional is beyond me but we hear it time and time again. HSV1 is so common especially I'm children younger people and adults... it's expected 80% of the population will have or has hsv1 by the time they have gray hair.

 

 

I suggest an IGG test for both you and your partner or better yet a full STD panel just for peace of mind. Now to answer your questions... no you won't ping pong the virus back and fourth between each other. Once your body has sufficiently had time to deal and manage the virus it "should" stay in the already affected areas. ITS IMPORTANT that in the first six months you do not touch your OB and touch your eyes mouth or other mucus membranes as you can transmit the virus by this method.

 

 

 

Live long and prosper. I'll write more when I can.

[WCSDancer2010]

@sungoddess

 

Welcome! Glad you found us!

 

Personally I'd say the Doctors may be right ... you said this was your second time with your partner ...when was the first? HSV usually take 4 -10 days or so to show up ... so you may have got it the first time you were with him. @Enhanced, I believe the Dr's are just telling the truth .. if your first "noticeable" OB is pretty bad, there's a pretty good chance you just got it. Some folks have their first noticeable OB years after their exposure but it's generally more subdued and localized. And given it's only their second time together, AND she got sores on her mouth AND genitals, well, it's following all the typical signs of a recent acquisition.

 

That said, Enhanced is right ... 60% of young people have HSV1 oral by the time they hit adulthood. So odds are your BF may have had cold sores, but noone told him that he can pass it on to others (to the mouth or genitals) and he may not have had an OB in quite some time. It's also possible he got it genitally and you got the Oral version by giving him oral sex.

 

If you really want to know who gave it to who, you need the IGG blood test... odds are he will be H1+ and you won't if you were just recently exposed.

 

Once you havegood immunity (4-6 months) you won't be able to pass it back and fort, but for now, you need to be careful not only with touching the sores and then other parts of your body, but also with the BF ... if he has *any* suspicion that he's having prodromes (pre-symptoms) or and OB, I'd find another way to be intimate.

 

How to tell him? I'd ask him if he ever had cold sores. If he says yes, you have your answer and you just need to let him know that you have got them from him and he needs to get educated about it....you may want to take him to the Dr with you to get the blood test (tell the Dr you both want the blood test because *if* he doesn't have it, then YOU need to protect HIM ... ) so the Dr can help to educate him ... or send him here (you can print out the handouts that are here: http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

(((HUGS)))

[sungoddess]

Thank you for feedback.

 

Our first time having sex was 5 days prior to our second time. And now the more I've thought about the symptoms and the timing of everything I felt completely off the days in between us having sex. Felt tired, unmotivated (and I am very active and go to the gym regularly and exercise on the same days every week and I had zero interest) and very blah and almost "out of it" like unable to focus on doing little tasks, kind of wandering ...

(Just to mention also, my symptoms were very obvious and very painful, especially when urinating!! The amount of bumps/lesions on my vagina tripled it seems overnight. I've been on generic Valtrex and I started to see an improvement in just a few days. Lucky me! by the sounds of other peoples outbreaks things could have been a lot worse.)

 

So, I chalked it up to mercury being in retrograde which usually messes things up for me too but now maybe this was my prodrome??

I was curious as to why I had my first outbreak after the second time being with him and now this makes a lot of sense.

 

I did finally disclose with him yesterday, after being so nervous and going over and over in my head how I was going to get it out ...and he had NO idea whatsoever. He said he has never had cold sores and never had anything on his genitals. But he did have mono a few years back...wondering if there could be any connection with that? He's going to the doctor on Wednesday for PE and blood work. He was obviously taken back but was concerned and we are figuring all this out together!

 

Thank you again and we will both get the IGG test run.

 

 

 

 

 

[sungoddess]

HUGS!!! I have to get used to saying that to myself!!

 

 

[sungoddess]

Oh, another question...when is it "safe" to kiss after an outbreak?? Or is there never a "safe" time? :(

[WCSDancer2010]

@sungoddess

 

Having Mono wouldn't have anything to do with HSV... two different H viruses ;)

 

Yeah - sounds like you got it on your first time with him ... the second time with him was a bit of bad timing and it *may* have irritated the area enough to cause the full-on OB.

 

Kissing after an OB? Well if he has it, then it's less of an issue. But I'd wait till several days after the scab falls off. He may want to ask his parents if he ever had coldsores if he's close to them .... he can just say he's curious or something...

[sungoddess]

Ok thank you!