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Contracted genital HSV1 from my boyfriend, and don't even know where to begin.

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I've literally wrote and re-wrote this line like three different times now - can't decide where to start.


I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months now and it has been in some ways the most rewarding relationship I've ever been in. I experienced my first breakout about a week ago and it was very painful. About a week before the breakout I found an Acyclovir prescription in one of his shoes as I was doing laundry. My emotional reaction to this was compounded because around the same time I also found out he's been soliciting girls from Tinder (we've been living together the past couple months). I had a conversation with him about the Acyclovir prescription, and he told me he contracted facial HSV1 wrestling (he was a very competitive wrestler growing up).


I've done all the Googling and it is common for wrestlers to contract HSV1 this way, as well as my test results came back positive for HSV1. It has been very difficult receiving a genital HSV1 diagnosis for obvious reasons (social stigmatization, fear of acceptance in future relationships), but admittedly I do feel a great deal of relief in knowing it isn't HSV2 because I'm working through some serious trust issues with him considering he's been texting girls from Tinder.


Anyways, I'm not really here to work through my trust issues relating to his Tinder solicitations - I can admit I haven't been the best girlfriend as of late either in terms of communication and emotional support (and I think we're both committed and trying to work through those things). It's just been really hard to deal with my HSV1 contraction in light of those other things (mainly trust issues) and I have a lot of uncertainties and questions.


He never told me he had HSV1 and I think I contracted it genitally through oral sex - I keep thinking he could have better protected me if he had just been upfront about it (but I also empathize because I know how hard it will be for me to disclose this to future sexual partners). As well as we were having sexual intercourse throughout my initial outbreak until I received my test results and everything I read says this just makes it worse - He was convinced I had a yeast infection, but my lymph nodes down there were so painfully large and swollen by the time I went to the clinic I knew otherwise.


When I went to the clinic I had this secret fear he really had acted on his solicitations and I'd contracted an STI because of them. Now I just keep thinking maybe he could have better protected me by being more forthright? Though I also think he could have thought he was trying to protect me by being on suppressive therapy? As well as I am working through trust issues in our relationship.


Also, I am unsure - if we were having sexual intercourse throughout my initial breakout does this mean he's likely contracted it genitally now too as well? Or will it remain an "above the belt" thing considering he contracted the virus wrestling?


I'm sorry I wrote so much, but thank you for taking the time to listen if you were able to work through it all.







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To answer some of your questions straight forward. Your boyfriend has a chance however small of contracting it in the genitals while having facial or oral herpes. But since he's had this virus for a long time it is a very small chance. Also if he hasn't already he needs to go in for a full std panel to just get that out of the way. I'd also suggest you have a talk with him about his activities outside your relationship. If he's having unprotected sex with other people without informing you or protecting you not only is it dishonest but he's disrespecting your health.


You will find this community offers many answers to many questions that you have so don't be afraid to ask anything. To help manage an OB take Epsom salt baths or showers and baths in general help relieve the pain or itchiness. Also ALOE CREAM not the gel can be applied to affected area to help as well.





Live long and prosper. You are going to be okay!

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Hello and Welcome...


Well, this is a little sticky. If he had Acyclovir, I have to assume he knew he *could* pass it on ... in which case he should have let you know what your risk factors were. Usually I would give someone benefit of the doubt if they had oral HSV1 because most don't know the connection with genital herpes. Sounds like you need to have a real heart-to-heart, and give him permission to come clean about everything (including the fact that he knew he could pass it to you, as well as whether he acted on the Tinder thing) then put it behind you and move on together if you feel the relationship is strong enough/worth it.


Can you pass it back and forth. Well, he has the antibodies to the virus ... and H1 genital sheds less than H1 oral ... so while it's *possible* (we have a few people who got H1 genitally after having H1 orally), the odds are lower... if you are concerned you can go on the anti-virals to reduce the chances of passing it on.


I personally am much more concerned about the Tinder solicitations. I would be inclined to insist he use a condom for at least 4 months then have him get tested for ALL STD's and make sure you see the results. You've had a breach of trust and it's up to him to do what he can to prove to you that he's committed to the relationship. Yes, perhaps you didn't give him the attention he wanted, but if he hooked up with someone he put YOU at risk too ...


You may want to get some couples therapy ... sounds like you have a bit of air to clear and sometimes having a professional to mediate helps a lot ;)


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