Not quite a relationship disclosure but still a success I think

[Helzbelz88]

Ok so those that may have read one of my posts about feeling life I was being dishonest if I didn't disclose even though I hadn't met the guy might follow this better.

 

So I had been talking to a guy online pretty much made it clear sex was the last intimacy after getting to know someone. We still have not met but hope to even if as friends.

He has a past that I don't yet know about and I guess I got to the point of I just want to put it out there so it's done. I kinda hinted I had something to tell him that may or may not be a deal breaker - obviously we have not yet met so something about him could easily be a deal breaker for me.

 

I didn't want to do it over text wanted to do it in person but then I figured why bother meet him if he can't handle this, and maybe as it's my first disclosure ( to some one not a friend/ family) I just wanted to rip the band aid off.

 

So here is how it went:

 

Ok well the short version is you know how people get cold sores on their mouth I could get them down there. About a month ago I found out I have herpes . I can tell you more about it if you want to know but that's what it is and why I'm so cautious with feelings and sexual stuff. It is very new for me and has been a hard adjustment so you can understand how vulnerable it might make me feel when it comes to potential relationships or even letting a guy in to get to know me. It is very common and 80% of the population has it but it is not talked about very much. I hope you will understand how much trust and bravery it takes to tell you this. Now it's out in the open so react to it as you need to.

 

oh is that all? did you get it from someone or always had it? i can imagine how hard it could be to come out and say it, but it treatable isnt it? i thaught it would of been something worse but its no a problem at all

 

I got it from someone that is asymptomatic. It is manageable but I will have it forever. The transmission rates between female to male are 5%, 2-3 if I take daily antivirals and 1 or less with a condom as well. It is contagious as it's a virus but obviously doing the above and not having sex during and outbreak lowers transmission rates

 

oh ok, youve done your reasearch havent you, aww having it forever that cant be too cool for ya, how ofen do ya break out? asymptomatic? is that like they have it but dont know?

 

- and obviously I go on to tell him all about it.

 

We may not be any more than friends ever but I still feel good about telling him even if it wasn't entirely the way I wanted to

 

:)

[WCSDancer2010]

Of course this is a success because not only did he not "run" ... he's asking to be educated ... so you can see that people can accept you with it and RESPECT you ... and that is a beautiful thing. Just tell him to stay the hell off google and get on here if he want's more info from people who have lived with it for a long time.

 

Good for you my friend!