My random story of herpes over time

[Ratpack1904]

In 2011 I contracted herpes simplex 2 from my ex . We were serious but he also seriously cheated on me . Despite all that we remained friends until last month . ( yes taboo, I know ) . I was defestated , angry , depressed . I shut down cried everyday . I hated everyone & everything . I had a darker outlook on life . My ex idk he was the first person I told but I didn't go out blaming him . I wanted him to admit it with no pressure from me . In a sick way he gave me advice on coping & dating . He claimed he still loved me while with someone else . A yr later he messaged me panicking saying his gf ( now wife / babies mother ) was pist cause she found a bump while shaving . ( just like how I found out I was infected ) . Yeahhhh . That time period was rough being abstenent but also embarrassed . I would break down at work & my boss confronted me . I couldn't hold it in anymore so I told him I had herpes . He was like bitch I do too. He told me his story & about being healthy & being treated . For a whole month he kept up with me making sure I was doing treatment . For once I didn't feel alone.

 

Coping for me i turned to heavy body modification & crazy hair colors .I finally felt able to get back into dating . Let me just say dating people with herpes or without is no different . Everyone has something wrong with them . So dont assume its always you . Example: I got serious with this guy he knew of my condition & accepted me . We were extremely Intimate. Then he pulled away from the relationship . He had a brain illness I didn't know about at the time & deceased last yr . Dating is weird but honesty is the key role just be honest . Even if its embarassing . I've witnessed lots of judgment especially at school . Like we went over a lesson about diseases . Classmates saying " eww or those kind of people , gift that keeps on giving , fire crotch . Shit like that gets to me but fuck em that's why I keep it to myself and only choice people know .

 

A recent event I got knocked up . By a dude I was in the midst of marrying . I felt like I finally found someone but nope. Every courthouse wedding appointment we had he would dodge. It got embarassing to keep reacheduling friends & fam . Then insult to injury he wanted an undocumented " anarchist style wedding " which was a certificate from a Christian store & claim I'm his wife & do a real wedding later . I left & then shortly found out I was prego . Also he was with his ex and cheated on me also awol from the military . And my herpes was an issue after all. I carried on this pregnancy alone . Herpes only affects the pregnancy if its your first initial outbreak ever or if you have sex with someone who has it while prego ( why) lol . Yes I had an c section & my kid is healthy & awesome .

 

Life with herpes it took me time to realize . It doesn't hold you back. It's okay to cry to be mad & lost . I've learned to be positive about it . Cause dead or alive that shits gonna be with me . People who can't accept it kick em to the curve don't give them a second thought . Also don't just jump into shit your not ready for . Learn to love yourself , get on medication . if you have noone to vent too vent here . I'm proud I'm not where I use to be . Just keep your head up.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Ratpack1904

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

I have to say, your post made me smile.... esp your boss:

 

I couldn't hold it in anymore so I told him I had herpes. He was like bitch I do too.

 

What a great boss to make sure you were getting the right kind of support and treatment! :)

 

That, and the fact that in spite of everything, you have learned from each experience and grown and become a stronger, more beautiful you. Yeah, these damn life lessons SUCK but if we stop and ask ourselves how the hell did we *allow* ourselves to get into that mess (usually poor self confidence and looking for love in all the wrong places) we can then take responsibility and work on loving ourselves and making better life and partner choices. Good for you for not becoming a victim and for becoming the hero that will be setting a great example for your child ;)

 

Just a quick note about the pregnancy/Herpes connection. You were already established with H when you got pregnant, so I'm not sure why they did a C-section on you ... they could have given you Valtrex in the last month and then just monitored you for OB's as the birth time got closer. But there are some doctors who are still "Old School" who just do a C-section and can scare you into it (I had one of them 28 yrs ago.) Know that you can have a V-Bac (vaginal birth after cesarean) so if you have another child, you will want to find a Dr that is ok with that and who will give you the option of going on the anti-virals and trying the natural birth route if that is what you want. I did that for my second and she is just fine :)

 

Glad to have you with us! It's always good to hear from someone who has learned from the journey and has that perspective!

 

(((HUGS)))

 

 

[Ratpack1904]

@wcsdancer 2010 : Thankyou & yeah my boss is pretty awesome . He def taught me alot & gave me Hope. Especially seeing his relationship & how happy he was . I chose not to be on meds during my pregnancy . But i also get frequent outbreaks where the baby would come in contact if I gave natural birth . So I asked for the c - section . I just didn't want to risk anything .

[WCSDancer2010]

That makes sense - they usually just put you on the meds for the last month. They've been doing that since the 80's and it doesn't seem to have any negative affect on the baby at all. Just for future reference ;)