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how does one begin to love themselves after a blow like this?

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Forgive me if I sound dramatic, but I am 33 and newly diagnosed with herpes. It has totally blindsided me. Not that I don't know how I got it. But I am still in that phase of beating myself and blaming myself for my poor choice. And he didn't even care about me the same way that I cared about him. And I am also sad because I wanted love so much that I settled for less than I deserve. But now that I have this, how am I supposed to begin to repair my already bad self-esteem? I wonder about someone loving me for me inspite of herpes. I know that things could be worse, so please bear with me. I am only one month post diagnosis. My question to the group for those who have had herpes for awhile is how did you begin to pick up the pieces and truly come to terms with the disease and begin to truly love yourself more than you ever have? (if that was an issue). How do you stop "shaming" and blaming yourself? I want to be married and I want children and I feel I have so much work to do before I could be in a place to receive healthy love.

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