Worse than herpes.

[ihaveittoo]

Being diagnosed with herpes is pretty devastating when it happens. The stigma immediately kicks in. The absolute worst fate imaginable has come to pass. Life is over. Nothing is worse than this.

 

Today I spent a few hours with my father. He'll turn 74 in September. He spent 8 years in the US Navy flying airplanes. In the late 60's and early 70's he took classes in computers. He made his living programming computers for 35 years. He was a wiz with all kinds of technical gadgets. Then, two years ago this week, he was diagnosed with alzhiemers. Now he is not able to figure out the TV remote. It took me 20 minutes to coach him thru using his cell phone today. His attention wanders constantly. He can't be left home alone anymore. I spelled mom today so she could go have lunch with friends and have a break from dad. We are witnessing the man that my father was slowly fade away. It hurts.

 

Herpes is nothing more than an inconvenience. With proper care it can be easily managed. Life goes on as usual. It's not going to kill you or cause any other health problems. Alzhiemers slowly destroys the brain. It robs people of there memories and intelligence. It's a creeping death that can't be stopped. Dad will never improve from where he is today. Sad to say his best days are behind him now.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is herpes is next to nothing. Its been blown way out of proportion by society. There is a hell of a lot worse things that can happen to you than herpes. Get out there and live your life!

[whitedaisies]

Ihaveittoo, It must be very difficult for u to see ur dad like that. We tend to think our dads are strong like superheroes and a disease like Alzheimer's shows us they are mere humans.

 

In his humanity and his struggles, you are showing him love and compassion as well as to ur mom and that is a truly selfless and wonderful thing u cando.

 

Yes, reality check, herpes does not rob one of their humanity or their dignity in the majority of cases and those that are blessed to have this virus under control should always remember that.

 

Thank u for sharing such a personal story to Help us all gain perspective.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Ihaveittoo

 

My step mom has it too, and last year my step brother determined (rightly, I believe) that she needed to be put in a Memory Care Unit because my father couldn't keep chasing after her (he ended up in the hospital 3x in 4 months right before this happened).

 

My father has congestive heart failure and schitzophrenia that is being triggered by his guilt about her being in the Memory Care Unit.

 

My mother had a stroke many years ago and basically spent 8 yrs dying. I think watching my father nurse her and deal with helping her get around was as painful as seeing her like that. AND, I live 1000 miles away ... so I was watching from afar much of the time...

 

All of this makes you realize how precious life is. How precious having a loving relationship is. (My father is a funny old bird... can't live without a woman to take care of him, but will nurse her until he collapses when the roles get turned) And how we just need to LIVE LIFE every day.

 

Today I did a really difficult 6 mile hike with lots of scrambling/climbing. I'm not exactly fit for that kind of exertion, so I had to stop alot. At a couple points I was really discouraged about having to stop yet again. Then at one point, I suddenly saw a fly under a leaf, and a lizard scuttling across the rocks. And I realized that every stop was a chance to live in the moment and experience what was happening around me. No "shame" about stopping again. No worries about how long the hike was taking. Just living in the NOW and appreciating it. It was a good wake-up call for me again.....

 

Life is too short to allow anything... ANYTHING ... to hold you back. If Nick Vujicic can live with the motto "No Arms, No Legs, No Worries", how can I complain about the crap in my life???

 

Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. So sorry you are having to experience this with your father. Make sure you and your mom take care of yourselves ... caregivers often need someone to care for THEM too ...

 

(((HUGS)))

[ihaveittoo]

Thanks @WCSDancer2010 and @whitedaisies. The progression of his alzhiemers has really been noticeable in the last month or so. He always had worry wart tendencies and I've noticed that this has really intensified them. Mom has already informed my brother and I that when the time comes he will go to a care facility. I know it won't be easy, but it will probably be for the best. Mom will be 76 in October. She's handled it like a trooper so far, but the day will come when it gets to be to much to handle.

[whitedaisies]

It's also safer for ur dad to be where there is good care and it will be good for ur mom too. She won't worry as much

 

All the best to u and ur family!