+HSV-1 and learning to deal

[twentyone21]

So hello all! I am so happy I found a forum that seems so supporting and uplifting! I look forward to communicating and learning with you, all while seeking a little support for myself!

 

So here is my brief story and a couple questions! :)

 

Ok, I am 26 and am back in the dating game after almost 4 years...I have also been dealing with HPV for 4 years and having many abnormal results and cancer testing (I'm at stage 3 with HPV and stage 4 is cancer). Well I am doing ok from that. Anyway, I just met this guy not too long ago...he seems great and have never met anyone like him. Well we fooled around one night and I received oral from him and we had sex, but used a condom. Then we did stuff again...same thing except this time I may have had a small knick from shaving down there. Well the next day I thought my small cut from shaving was infected..boy was I wrong! I woke up 2 days later and I knew something was very wrong with my girl parts! I immediately went to the dr and was terrified as to what was going on. First thing she says when seeing my genitals was that we needed a Herpes test. I got pricked and samples taken (SO PAINFUL!) and blood work taken and was prescribed Valacyclovir. So I left there confused and scared...First thing I did was ask the new guy if he ever got cold sores...he immediately responded and said that he did once in awhile and that the current cut on his lip had turned into a sun blister...I thought I was doomed. I told him something was going on and I had a bad feeling...we actually talked about it and he was so supportive, even not knowing all the facts yet.

 

Well today I got the facts...I have HSV-1 on my genitals. From what I have read I am fortunate to only have the first strain there versus the second strain...so I am relieved for that. My new guy went to get tested for everything and he has yet to get his results back, but told the Dr. our situation and she said it is very likely I contracted the virus at that time.

 

Ok so I have come to understanding how you get it, how to treat it and how to deal with most of it. I am trying to make the best out of this unfortunate situation. You never think these things can happen to you until they do. Anyway here is my main question. I have seen it kinda asked before, but I feel I need to directly ask it to get the clear answer for myself.

 

If he gets his blood work back and tests positive for Oral HSV-1 (which we are both assuming he will since he has a history of cold sores) and I now have HSV-1 genitally, can we ever have sex unprotected? Will he ever be able to get genital herpes from me? If I am clear of any OB's can he give me oral sex? Will I ever be able to get oral herpes from him? I mean we plan to use condoms, but what if we don't one time, I don't want him to get it genitally. From what I have read we should be ok and the chances are slim, but I just need a little more clarification please...It will be greatly appreciated!! :)

 

Thank you everyone!!

[WCSDancer2010]

@twentyone21

 

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

Yeah - we get this question alot ;)

 

First: his test will come back for HSV1 - technically it won't tell you where it is but if he got a cold sore on his lip it's pretty certain that is where he has it ;)

 

That will mean he has antibodies to it, which means he will have *some* immunity to it but there is no guarantee he won't get it. He can certainly give you oral safely ... you can't give him "more" on his lip. There aren't any stats on his risks for getting it genitally because a lot depends on how strong his immune system is.

 

You need to get his test results to make sure he's not got anything else ... esp as you are dealing with HPV as well because you now have TWO ways other STD's can gain entry to your system (because you may have lesions which make entry easier). You really need to consider asking any new partners for STD results. I would also make sure to use condoms simply because you want to try to protect him from getting that strain of HPV ... condoms only give you 50% protection from both HSV and HPV. Given you can't test guys for HPV you should be thinking of protecting him from getting it so he doesn't pass it on to anyone in the future if you guys don't work out.

 

If you want to be extra careful I'd take the anti-virals as well, but in all honesty, given he likely had HSV1 oral, with condoms you should be reasonably safe, but given that you are dealing with HPV as well I would take him in to your next visit with your OBGYN and have them explain his risks for both and then the two of you come up with a plan that HE is comfortable with as well. You are dealing with enough yourself so let him take responsibility for his sexual health ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[twentyone21]

Thank you! Yes we actually went to the Dr together for him...He got tested for everything and looked over...so just waiting on all of those results. So from my understanding, if we both have HSV-1 we should be ok and not really have to take any extra precautions? Besides condoms obviously...I am not on any birth control right now so condoms are a for sure must! I just wanted to know that the chance is low that he would get anything genitally from me if we ever did for some reason not use a condom. Assuming I have no BO's at that time. After the first and so far only BO, I would not even THINK about any sexual activity! UFF that was the worst thing I have ever dealt with...and painful!! Yes I've been dealing and getting super familiar with HPV...I'm hoping it goes away soon due to the fact that I am getting a little older...and luckily the guy I am with is older (my dr said age can be a factor sometimes)...so that is what I am hoping haha! Thank you so much for your info..it is greatly appreciated!

[WCSDancer2010]

Again, there *is* still a risk he could get it and he needs to know that. But his normal risk will be under 5% with HSV1, about 2% with condoms, and given he has the antibodies to HSV1, it should be even less than that. Odds are you are more likely to get pregnant from an accident with the condom than he is to get HSV1 genitally from you, but both are real risks and as long as you are both ok with that, then you should be fine.

 

BTE, try taking Folic Acid for the HPV - some of the strains react really well to that. I had some abnormal cells years back (which I now assume was HPV) and the Dr wanted to freeze them off. He had already told me that 30% clear up on their own, 30% clear up with Folic Acid (its an oral pill BTW), and 30% develop into cancer and it takes about 5 yrs to get to that point. I assume the ones that clear up on their own are the "harmless" HPV strains (there are about 40) ... I went to a Naturopath and she put me on the Folic Acid and some other things and they cleared up in 6 months. Blew my Dr away (and he was the one that told me they can clear up with the stuff...LOL) I had been using the Diaphragm for BC and I wonder if that was rubbing me and causing some irritation, but either way, it won't hurt you to try it. You can get the Folic Acid in any Supplement aisle ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[twentyone21]

Thank you! So helpful! I will definitely try the folic acid! I have been having abnormal cells from HPV since I was 22 and am now almost 27. The Dr seemed surprised that it has not gotten better, but in the past year it has not gotten worse, so that is good I suppose. They have wanted to do a leep procedure but the last time I went the other Dr said that it really wasn't necessary and she would like to hold off on it. I was fine with that because I sure didn't want that to happen!! I sometimes think they make it seem worse than it is. But at the same time you don't want to mess with anything cancer related! (From what they tell me, there are 4 stages of HPV...the 4th stage being cancer...I have been sitting at stage 3 for a little over a year now). So they keep a close eye on me.

 

And the odds of that are great! This is all so helpful! And I am thankful for this group and this new guy who is more than understanding!! I think I found a good one :) Never thought within the first month I'd have convos like this with a new person and then to top it off have them be 100% supportive and willing to do whatever it is to make things better or work! :) What a relief!