Helpp paranoid

[kaybee]

Every since contracting herpes I've literally became a crazy hypochondriac.

 

Recently, I was watching tv and a women went through a breakup so she had a one night stand and the guy came to tell her he just had a positive hiv test. Immediently alarm bells start going off in my head and I freaked out.

 

When I was sexually assaulted he only penetrated me for a few minutes (without a condom despite my begging, stopped when I insistently lied that I'm not on birth control) and did not ejaculate. I have never not used a condom besides that incident. About a week later I had intense flu symptoms (back pain headache tingly legs vomiting) which may have been from H as well as the intense stress I was facing regarding the herpes sores I rapidly developed genitally. I was not able to see a doctor for about another two weeks after that. She did a swab test for hsv and offered me a full blood panel std test. She called back two weeks later and said my swab test was positive for hsv 2 and everything else was negative (hiv sphillus chlamdia ghonnerea etc). So I was tested for everything roughly 3-4 weeks after the incident. I have not slept around since then nor have I been tested again.

 

Now I'm freaking out wondering if this guy potentially had hiv. I have no reason to think he does and nothing to go off of but intense paranoia. I really don't want to go get tested again because I'm too scared and It's also really inconvinent. I know the chance of him even having hiv is low statistically (20 year old straight white affluent male but still possible!!!) as well as the chance of it passing on from unprotected sex being 1/1000 if he had it. Then I read people with h are 15 times more likely to have hiv according to the CDC?? I'm just freaking out.

 

Having herpes is something I'm really comfortable with. There's no one I wouldn't feel comfortable telling to the point of considering just "coming out" with it. My whole family and a lot of friends already know and I'm proud to have full acceptance. HIV on the other hand is a whole other nightmare that I don't think I can handle. I will literally never sleep with another person without seeing their std results and using condoms because it's not worth the risk.

 

Any advice would be really appreciated :(

[kaybee]

I also know he doesn't do drugs (using drug needles can increase risk?). I'm just so paranoid. It sucks because I know girls who sleep with so many guys and haven't gotten anything (to my/their knowledge) and live completely carefree and aren't stressed about having anyrhing and I'm just like freaking out from one incident. I don't even want to sleep around I just want to stop being paranoid and scared.

[WCSDancer2010]

BREATHE friend! You are letting your mind run the show. You know yourself your odds, esp having had all the tests numerous times ... so take a deep breathe and relax.... and if you need to, take one more test for your peace of mind ;)

 

And regarding the girls that sleep around - well, they may well be carrying something .. and anyway, life isn't "fair". We just have to learn to either duck the curve balls or knock the out of the park ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[kaybee]

Thanks dancer! You made me feel a lot better.

 

I just panicked because hiv seems to be related a lot online to herpes (I know it's because the sores make it easier to contract but it's still scary!) and seeing it in the media makes me think well I got herpes what if he also gave me hiv?! And the paranoia sets back in.

[kaybee]

I was also wondering if my first ob symptoms were normal. It started with a head ache and back pain and then sores and i didn't get treated for about a week. After I finally saw the doctor I started throwing up that day couldn't eat and still had the horrible headache for a few more days. I was really weak and just laid in bed and puked for days. I had never had any previous h exposure (I don't have hsv 1 never had chicken pox or mono) so I think that may be why my first ob was so Intense? Now I rarely get any symptoms at all.

[WCSDancer2010]

Well, you didn't already have HSV when it happened .. so you didn't have the lesions to allow the HIV virus in...THAT is what they are talking about with the risk... and even then it's still not much higher unless you are having sex during an OB ;)

[kaybee]

Very true. I'm just soo paranoid. I think having been in denial about having herpes (I was convinced there was no way despite all the symptoms!) that I'm like omg what if I'm in denial of this too.

[Scared4this]

If it make sense, just test HIV again... To give u a peace of mind so u don't obsess about it.

Btw, u r so strong from this assault... I truly admire ur strength and wishing u the very best! I am humble and ashame that I couldn't even handle the potential outcome. I wanted u to know that :)