Sex Question Not Fully Related to Herpes

[DamagedLotus]

Okay, so I visit this site pretty much everyday but usually don't post or comment often. Now I need some advice or opinions.

 

I’ve recently reconnected with my ex whom I thought gave me H. Back when I was diagnosed he went to get tested and came back negative (so he said). Since I never saw his paperwork I was always skeptical if he was telling the truth. He was always very supportive and still wanted to continue the relationship. We eventually broke up for other reasons. Now we are trying again and before sex gets involved I requested we both get tested and physically show each other our paperwork. He spoke to his doctor telling him I am positive for HSV2 and specifically asked to be tested for H. He is negative for everything. That makes me even more confused since I seemed to have had classic first OB symptoms during our relationship (but thats a whole other story).

 

So for my dilemma, my “ex” really doesn’t like using condoms and isn’t fully satisfied when using them. He wants to go without. He is well aware of the risk and I have started suppressive therapy as an extra precaution which he didn’t ask me to do. I trust him but I have always been paranoid about STDs even before I became sexually active. Now that my paranoia has manifested into H of course I’m even more paranoid. I feel like I will never feel fully conformable having sex without a condom again even if we were married. It’s always on the back of my mind and I tend to over think everything. Obviously at some point I will have to go without since I plan to have kids the old fashion way.

 

So I guess my question is: With being in a monogamous relationship and having negative test results how to I become comfortable having unprotected sex? Pregnancy is not a concern.

 

Sidenote: when I went to my annual appointment my GYN requested the nurse write orders for a STD 1 screening (I paid close attention to the #1). When my results came in I got a call saying “negative for all STDs”. I called and asked for copies to be mailed to me and of course H was not listed on the panel. Even though I’m sure my doctor did not request that test since she already knows I have it, it still pissed me off. This is why people are going around thinking they are negative and not. If I hadn’t asked for the detailed report I could have been fooled into thinking I was tested for it.

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Ok - so here's how I see it. He knows the risks. He's a big boy. Let him make his own mind up about whether he wears the condom.... wearing it affects HIS experience of sex far more than yours....and given that he hasn't got it so far, obviously your system is doing a good job of controlling it. And with the anti-virals you are doing what YOU can to protect him. You may want to check out the FC2 female condom - I've heard mixed results but for *some* it's a great alternative ;)

 

And yes, your experience of the STD panel is VERY common. I wouldn't even mind it so much if they TOLD people they didn't include it and why (they claim too many false positives... but that's usually because they are including the borderline ones and they could always follow up with Western Blot if they are unsure of the result... but they won't :( )