OB after 2 years of being intimate

[avigail]

I don't understand how I have been dating my Bf for over 2 years and I had not one single OB and suddenly I happened to get an OB and after that I have been getting probably 2 more OB and I just don't understand why didn't I get OB before. I trust my BF but it just doesn't add up and I have never been with anyone else ever, unless he had slept with someone while being with me and contracted Herpes. I know he has had partners before me, but we have been in a serious relationship and sexually active for 2 years. five months ago I was diagnosed with Herpes and it just doesn't make since that after all that time of being sexually active I had an OB. My bf has been very supportive and I honestly don't know what ill do without his support but it just doesn't quite make since to me can anyone help me out. Please :(

[avigail]

he hasn't gotten any cold sores at all. when I got my first OB he too got a sore in his penis and that was it, I supposed maybe his immune system is stronger. I do know that there are tons of people who have Herpes and will never know it because they show no symptoms because of a good immune system. it just doesn't make sense that I never got an OB until 5 months ago after having sex with someone for 2 years. He knows he's the one who gave it to me because I was a virgin when I first met him and he gave me my first kiss and everything. He hates the fact that transmitted Herpes to me without knowing he had it and I by no mean blame him at all. I just find it weird I never gotten an OB until now.

[WCSDancer2010]

@avigail

 

Honey - it makes TOTAL sense if you understand Herpes ...

 

I thought we had clarified this for you back in June when you joined, but I'll explain it again.

 

Your BF gave you HSV2 as I recall ...

 

H2 sheds asymptomatically (ie, no symptoms) about 15-30% of the time ... however, shedding doesn't mean there is enough virus to inoculate/infect you even when your partner is shedding. It's considered that the risk of Male-to-Female transmission risk is only about 10% over the course of a year assuming you are having sex 2x/wk without protection. However, a whole lot comes into play here... it's sorta like the planets have to align to get the virus. He has to be shedding ENOUGH to pass it on. The area that is shedding has to rub (usually reasonably vigorously) on some area on you. That area likely also gets irritated so that the skin is at least a little compromised (even if you cant feel it) ...making it easier for the virus to get in. There may also be issues of the status of your immune system.

 

So it's VERY possible that you just got lucky for the first 2 yrs ... my ex hubby didn't get it from me for about 18 months or so (I didn't know I had it). I've had 2 BF's since and one I never used any form of protection/meds and he didn't get it from me in the 3 yrs we were together. I have a client who has been married for 30+ yrs who had her first OB and her hubby STILL doesn't have it.

 

Basically Herpes is a slippery devil that doesn't play by hard and fast rules. So it can be hard to explain why someone gets it with ONE sexual experience (I got it on my first experience) ... others can be with someone 20+ yrs and never get it. And there is no real explanation about why this happens except a bit of luck and a good immune system :/

 

(((HUGS)))