Scared, Lost, and Confused

[lisab]

Hey guys great thing you are doing in support of herpes. I was diagnosed with hsv2 three weeks ago, and has been devastated ever since. First let me begin with the day. The tech took my blood. I felt that it was very unprofessional that she took my blood without my paperwork on her desk. After she took the blood I asked do I need to sign something? She said no they will send the paperwork back. I looked and made a face, but didn't say too much, but I do remember walking off saying what if they get my blood mixed up. Okay so fast forward a couple of days later I had to come in for abnormal test results, and was I scared I was thinking HIV, Trich, or something. My doctor said you have gential herpes, but I promise you, you will be fine we usually treat when you have a outbreak call me when you have an outbreak, and walked out the door. I was shocked, but at first I didn't cry because I thought it was not real, and I can honestly say I never had an outbreak, never had a partner to say anything to me about this. I don't have an ongoing relationship, and I'm not a promiscuous person, but I'm very confused because I don't when I contracted this virus since I have never expierenced an outbreak. I feel I had it for years, I can't even come to turns with this I'm wrecking my mind I have been with my child father for almost ten years and never had a problem, we took a break a couple of years ago and I had friends, and I know he did too. in fact he had another baby but we still messed around with each other. I can't even fix my mouth to even call and tell him, because every time I think about it I start throwing up. I'm depressed I haven't ate in almost a week, and not that much after my doctor told me. I'm failing all my classes I'm just falling apart. This bring me to this I hear so many say that their old partners say they don't have the virus after you tell them, then your stuck looking like a piece of trash and a nasty bitch, and that is so unbearable I keep thinking maybe he doesn't have it, because he had another baby and I don't know if she had been tested while she was pregnant, but me and him always had unprotected sex, we just had it a couple of months ago. Since I really don't know how I got it I could have gotten it before my baby daddy, and all them years we were together. then there is a thought that he could of gave it to me I don't know how much I can trust to say he would tell me. None of my partners have approached me about herpes or anything related to it.

The guy that I was messing with besides my child father, I slept with him before my test but he has not said anything of an outbreak. but he did say something to me that had me thinking. We had unprotected sex before we have been seeing each other for over a year, and before my results came back he asked me to come over and bring a rubber? The first time he ever asked me that. So I asked why and he said he was getting cortisone shots and didn't want the medicine to get in me, which I found weird. In which I also knew that them shots suppress your immune system, but I felt confident that there was any problem he would tell me. I even called and question my doctor about my results and how the lady did my blood wrong, and could of caused a mix, and they were very sure it was my blood, but come on now I'm reaching for any hope. I keep feeling like I need to be re tested so I can just confirm this. I keep reading articles saying that you have to get right with the diagnosis first before you can feel comfortable when telling someone you care about. I'm lost. Please help.

[WCSDancer2010]

First honey.... BREATHE!!!!! Whatever happens, you will be fine! Take it from a 35 yr veteran.... this is not the end of the world ;)

 

Do you have a copy of the results??? Did they say you have HSV1 or HSV2? Do you know what the numbers were on the results??? If not, you need to get that first before we can help you figure out your next step.

 

So - did you go in for an STD test? Most won't test for Herpes unless you ASK for it.

 

It is very possible you could have carried Herpes for many years and not known. 80% of all people with Herpes don't know they have it because, like you, they never had an OB or at least nothing that they realized was an OB. Odds are you have had it for at LEAST 4 months ... maybe a lot longer if the test was truly positive.

 

I say "truly positive" because it is considered to he positive if the number is over 1.1 ... but anything between that and 3.5 could be a false positive ... 40% of the diagnosis in that range are false positives. So that is why we need to know your numbers to help you to figure out what to do next.

 

The blood test won't tell you WHERE you have herpes. Now, if it was positive for

HSV2, odds are it's genital. But if it's positive for HSV1, you could have had cold sores/HSV1 as a child and not known it. I got H1 as a 4 yr old from some other kid in kindergarten.

 

I'm not a promiscuous person

 

Let me make one thing VERY clear .... you don't have to be promiscuous to get any STD. I got HSV2 on my FIRST sexual experience. I have a client who was an asymptomatic carrier for over 30 yrs before she had her first OB. I've coached a girl who was a virgin who got HSV1 from oral sex. We've had many, many people on here who got it from their first or second partner. Just like it only takes one "mistake" to get pregnant, it only takes one to get Herpes.... and it's exacerbated by the fact that so many carry it unknowingly.

 

your stuck looking like a piece of trash and a nasty bitch,

 

Well, that is the stigma talking right there. What would you say if this was a friend of yours and they confided to you that they got H? Would you say they were trash or a nasty bitch? Somehow I doubt it. So try to see this as you would if it was a friend that got it and you were trying to help them through this early time of acceptance and adjustment.

 

before my results came back he asked me to come over and bring a rubber? The first time he ever asked me that. So I asked why and he said he was getting cortisone shots and didn't want the medicine to get in me, which I found weird.

 

Uh - RED FLAG! There is no reason to use a rubber for a cortisone shot. NONE. And given you have been seeing him for at least a year, there's a good chance this may be the person who gave it to you. He may have been afraid that the cortisone would cause an OB because of the lowering of the immune system, or he may well have been having an OB..... but if you got it from him it wasn't during that encounter because you would have had to have had it for over 4 months for the results to come back positive...but it's entirely possible he could have passed it to you any time in the last year.

 

Whatever happens, we will help you get through this. If you can give us the test results then maybe we can help you figure out if you need re-testing or a different test to confirm.

 

(((HUGS)))

 

 

[lisab]

Can I ask for my medical records? I went to get my pap smear and they ask me did I want an std test and I said yea, Herpes never came up in the conversation. I never discussed anything with them about it, because I never thought of it that's why I was confused when they told me. I also have been sleeping with my child father this whole time too we never stopped I'm so confused right now.

[WCSDancer2010]

Of course you can! they are YOUR records!!!! I tell people all the time to get a copy of EVERY test you ever have .... often you need those records later and your Dr has destroyed them because they only need to keep them for 5-7 yrs....

 

I have a client who had her first OB after 30 yrs of marriage so your situation is FAR from unusual ..... Herpes is a slippery devil.... AGAIN, 80% don't know they have Herpes. You just went from the 80% category to the 20% category, that's all :(

 

(((HUGS)))

[lisab]

Thank you I'm going get them tomorrow, thanks for replying back you are the only person I have talked to since, the news you are greatly appreciated.

[forgivenessandpeace]

@lisab so sorry to hear you're suffering. I still feel the devastation of my herpes result: it's a heartbreaking thing; maybe for all the wrong reasons but it's still a really hard thing to swallow.