I have to vent

[GoodIntentions]

I've been going crazy these past 2months. I have been diagnosed at an urgent care by a visual inspection. They did not have swab kits to type so for now it just herpes simplex. Thing is my OB was a small blister smaller than the fingernail on my pinky finger on my stomach to the left of my belly button at about the same elevation. I followed up with an infectious disease expert who said it cleared up nicely and could barely see it. His guess was hsv 1 due to location. He sent me for bloodwork for herpes but the test chosen was Hsv Dna PCR via blood. The test came back negative for both hsv1 and 2. Of course I didn't get excited because I believe that specific test is not very useful. My ID dr. Seems like a good dr. And my guess is he may have ordered the pcr blood test on accident. Thing is I have had a few random red bumps in a few spots on my body and now I feel like I'm having OB's all over. I showed my dr a bump on my arm I was suspect of as well as a few on my rib cage. He did not think they seemed herpes related and prescribed my an anti staph cream. I did have what I thought was a breakout on the side of my pubic area but no blisters ever came. I do have stretch marks there that get irritated from time to time. I am on daily valtrex prescribed by my dr. I keep thinking I am breaking out all over my body and my herpes is disseminated which my ID dr. Insists that it is not and I am a healthy young man. He said he has seen disseminated herpes In some other patients and I should completely dismiss the idea. I have always had horrible anxiety and it has gotten so so so much worse since my diagnosis. I still have not been typed and plan on setting up an igg antibody test within the next few weeks. I can't help but thinking The worst and that this is going to kill me. I hope it's all In my head. Thanks for reading.

[WCSDancer2010]

@GoodIntentions

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

First... BREATHE!!!!! You have obviously been on Google FAR too much. As Alexander Pope said:

 

A Little Learning is a Dangerous Thing ;)

 

For one thing, you can't take ANYONE who does a visual diagnosis seriously... especially when it's not in the "normal" area. A single blister in that area certainly does not constitute a sound call for Herpes. Was there any particular reason for YOU to believe it's herpes?

 

It is true that the PCR DNA test is not a lot of use. That is the one thing that you have picked up that is true. But your odds of disseminated herpes is very, very low. And your symptoms don't sound like disseminate herpes to me either. So ... again... BREATHE!

 

Now, *IF* you have herpes, it WON'T kill you. Promise. I've had it 35 years and I've VERY much ALIVE and have a beautiful life. 99.9% of the "bad" things in my life had NOTHING to do with herpes. Now, have I been rejected? Yeah, a few times. But I had 2 - three year relationships (post divorce, I learned I had H after I got married and my now Ex got it from me because I didn't know what my genital "rash" was.. we stayed married and had 20 yrs together) with H- men and we had GREAT sex and they never got it from me....

 

Perhaps you can use this time to learn other ways to cope with the anxiety... You can't control anything at this point and freaking out over every lump and bump wont' help... if anything, it's more likely to cause MORE lumps and bumps no matter WHAT is causing them. ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Here's some info for you to see stats and such... if you are going to look up info, at least we can make sure its ACCURATE :)

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Herpes facts video

[GoodIntentions]

Dancer thank you so much for your reply. I was seeing a girl for some time who has hsv1 orally. Also about 5 weeks before my 1st OB I had brief unprotected oral and genital rubbing with a new girl in an attempt to get an erection so I could put a condom on. The encounter was uncomfortable and i could not get erect therefore intercourse did not occur. I always wear condoms but the risky genital rubbing is what I believe may be the cause. I'm finding it hard to get through my days right now. I feel like I let myself down. Thanks again for your reply.

[forgivenessandpeace]

Ahhhh, that's the hardest part: on top of the stigma to "feel like I let myself down". And WOW is this a good exercise in coping with anxiety! I wish you peace and calm @GoodIntentions xoxo

[GoodIntentions]

Thanks for the post forgiveness. I'm hoping this gets better in time. I can't help but think all the worst.

[GoodIntentions]

Also thought I should mention I had full panel including herpes 1 and 2 about a month before my risky encounter and all tests came back negative. I have been on daily valtrex since I got my small OB. Should I stop taking them for awhile before my antibody test? Will they alter my results? I'm scared to stop taking them I already feel like it's all over me but not showing blisters. I think I may be going a little crazy. Sorry if I sound nuts. Thanks for all your help.

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Hey, you should probably stop taking them, as it could affect your results. The stress you are feeling is likely not helping the situation. Assume you don't have it until you get confirmation, instead of assuming you do. But obviously, proceed with caution on the relationship front... which is something you should likely avoid anyways until you calm down and get things together. I have been dealing with all kinds of skin conditions for as long as can remember, and so it's not uncommon to see bumps here and there. This doesn't mean herpes is everywhere. Skin conditions can come and go, react to foods and other triggers (stress!), develop early or later in life, and have very similar symptoms, or appear completely different on different people. Just try to stop assuming the worst, until you really know. It's not doing you any favors. You'll get the answers you need soon enough.

[GoodIntentions]

PB thanks so much for the reply. I am trying my best to keep occupied and not think too much about it all. I really have to start focusing my energy on all the good in my life.

[WCSDancer2010]

I'm placing my best on the girl who had oral herpes giving you HSV1. It's much less likely you got H1 from genital rubbing and a 5 wk gap is a bit long between exposure and 1st OB...

 

Either way, as @Positive says ... get off the antivirals, keep busy, and remember to BREATHE!!! Whatever the result, you will be fine. Either that or I am TOTALLY delusional about how great has been :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[GoodIntentions]

Thank you all for the replies and thank you for the positive influence. This site is great and full of information each day I seem to feel a little better on whole. Of course I have my moments (I originally posted this during one). Reading up on the forums is truly inspirational.