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I Know Now Who Gave It To Me

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I was just sitting the other day, reading over a bunch of random threads in the forum. The word "Acyclovir" was popping up a lot. Call me ignorant if you will, but before H, I had no idea what it was taken/prescribed for. And like a freight train it hit me. I had seen this word before. A label on a bottle in my ex-boyfriend's sock drawer. He had been looking for something he lost and asked me to poke through the drawers and there it was in the back behind his socks. AND HE NEVER TOLD ME. Not once was this sad excuse for a man able to produce balls enough to tell me the truth and let me decide for myself!!


I could be surprised but since he turned out to be what he was, it all makes sense. Tell your partners, people! I know I always will. And I may spend the rest of my life alone because of that. And I fear that I will still. But at least I've got "lady balls" enough to tell the truth, even if it dooms me.

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Well, at least you have your answer now.


But I am going to call on you to have empathy for the man ...not because what he did was right or ok. But because he felt the shame and the stigma SO MUCH that he could not bring himself to tell you. And likely he thought that by taking the meds, he could keep you from getting it. BTW, Odds are he was either taking it episodically or he may have been meaning to take it daily but with it in a sock drawer, odds are high he missed some doses ...


AND he may have been told by his Dr that he didn't have to tell his partners as long as he didn't have sex during an OB because there ARE doctors out there who tell their patients this even now. So it's thoroughly possible he didn't know the full implications if he never got on a Forum like this to get informed.


No- you are not ignorant - unless you have had coldsores or genital herpes, you wouldn't know what it is because that is all it's prescribed for ... BUT ... if medication is hidden, it might be something worth researching in the future. I had the same thing with an ex... he had something for Genital Warts ... it wasn't till I got home from visiting him that I learned that I had them and he admitted that he had them... but I had seen a medication that i later learned was something to help with that :(


And I may spend the rest of my life alone because of that. And I fear that I will still.


PLEASE get that out of your head. Honey, go back and re-read all the Success Stories. Work on LOVING and ACCEPTING yourself EXACTLY as you are AND as you are not. Go to work on whatever self-deprecating thoughts you had before all this happened (I'm pretty sure there were things that you believed made you "unlovable" already .... many people who struggle with believing they will find love already had that belief before H came along :( ) Work on loving YOU right now ... because honey, if you don't, THAT is what will doom you to being alone, not herpes .... promise ;)



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