Scared and Unsure

[j_j]

I am a male in my 30's and kind of freaking out for the past few months but really unsure as to what to do. I was seeing a girl and we went out on a few dates and one night after having a few drinks we slept together...at first I did not have a condom on and then put one on after a few minutes. One week later when we went out again she told me she had HSV 2. this was back in august. Obviously once I read the symptoms I thought I had all of them, but as of today I have not seen anything and don't really think I experienced any real symptoms.

 

so the past few weeks I have been feeling more confident. From what I understand the chances I contracted something are pretty low..happy I found this website recently too.

 

this past weekend a close friend of mine had a party at her apt and we wound up sleeping together....I did use a condom in the beginning and then took it off as she said it was hurting. I know she is clean as she had been tested a month ago..I have not been tested. Today she contacted me and said she has been itching for the past two days and asked me if I have anything. after we spoke about that night she asked me about the condoms I used and if they were the lubricated kind....I said yes. she said it was most likely the lubrication that bothered her. I feel terrible at the moment and really hope it was the lubrication that bothered her. and at this point I think the only option i to go and get tested but I am pretty scared at the moment.

[j_j]

any advice is helpful at this point

 

[whitedaisies]

Hi and welcome.

 

Yes, the risks are very low you contracted it on a one time occurrence.

 

I would get blood tested as soon as possible....it's been long enough that you would show positive.

 

If the results are positive for you, I would tell your new friend.

 

Til then, you will have to wait.

 

Dancer will come and give her exprt advice, I ish you luck.

[WCSDancer2010]

I know she is clean as she had been tested a month ago..I have not been tested.

 

Well, does she know FOR SURE that she was tested for herpes? As in, did she not only ASK for it, but did she actually get a copy of the results? I ask simply because many people *believe* they have been tested when in fact they have not.

 

As Daisy said, you should get tested yourself right now no matter what - at this point you should have had enough time to build up the antibodies. That will give you a pretty good idea of what is going on. If you are negative, I'd retest at 6 months ... just to be sure ... but that would be a pretty good indication of your status. If you are positive, well, your friend will need to get tested in 3 months.. or swabbed if she develops sores.

 

I'm so sorry the other girl didn't tell you till after you had sex. To be honest, with the amount of time you went bareback, odds are you should be fine... but it IS best to make sure.

 

Sounds like the current girl may be having a allergic reaction to the condoms or your semen... or she may have a yeast infection. She needs to get to an OBGYN or Planned Parenthood and see if they can check for yeast and maybe Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) ... both very treatable.

 

 

(((HUGS)))

[j_j]

thank you both for writing

[ivoryrain]

Hey, there! I'm sorry that you're having a rough time. In my experience, not knowing and waiting was definitely much worse than knowing that I have HSV.

 

As Dancer said, she may THINK that she was tested but really wasn't. You are only tested if you have symptoms or if you request it specifically.

 

Assuming that the positive girl was not on antivirals suppressively, then your chances of contracting it were about 4%. If she was, then your chances are about 2%.

 

As a latex-allergic girl with a super sensitive vagina in general, I can tell you that it sounds like the other girl is having an allergic reaction. Just general itchiness all over or more concentrated around the opening is what I experience when I'm allergic to some type of lubrication or condom. I also possibly have a semen allergy/sensitivity with my boyfriend, and that is more of a burning followed by itching feeling. He is the only one I have experienced that with, so don't be alarmed if you're the only person she has experienced that with. Different men have different semen makeups/concentrations of fluids, so it's not abnormal to be allergic to one man's semen and not another's. If her symptoms are more like a yeast infection, it's probably just an infection caused by a sensitivity. She should still go in right away for a yeast and BV test. These are common infections among women, even non-sexually active women.

 

Hope that helps!

[j_j]

it def helps a lot...the h+ girl had said she has had H for 6 years (maybe a little more I think..not sure) and has not had an ob in years. she also mentioned she had two bf's who did not wear protection and neither are h+..i don't know if she was trying to make me feel better or if that was true.

 

I'm still scared to get tested but know at some point i have to. def don't have any symptoms though

[j_j]

really appreciate everyone writing back. it helps my nervousness

[whitedaisies]

You will be ok

 

Lots of hugs

 

Really doubt you got herpes from this one time event. If she's had h a while, she likely knows her body well.

 

Test anyway for your peace of mind and then I hope this scare helps u go forward.

 

I know drinking and having fun is a part of life BUT it can be really scary.

 

 

[j_j]

thank you so much for the supportive note...and yes I am reflecting quite a bit on my actions now and in the future.

[whitedaisies]

A lot of people on here have had scares when drunk....so u r definitely not the first or will be the last.

 

You are very likely going to come back negative and I would really like you to stay that way.

 

Xo

[j_j]

thank you so much white daisies. I hope so too