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My first disclosure

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I am 19 years old and have had herpes for about a year. I have had many partners since my diagnosis.. But never told any of them about it. For the first time in my life, I am ready to settle down and actually be in a relationship. My best friend brother is 17 years old and a virgin and I'd never seen him any other way than as a little brother but that began to change. After 3 months of gettin to know each other and going as far as we could sexually i decided it was time to tell him. So i did. The conversation went so differently in my head but either way i got the outcome that i had hoped.


I've read almost every success story on this site becuase I needed all the encouragement i can get but I never really thought it would happen to me.


The conversation went like this:


"There's two things i want to talk to you about. I'll tell you the not so good news first.

I love the way our relationship is going and i think that its great how honest we are with each other and i want to give you the choice that i never got.

About a year ago i was ... (Started to choke up here) diagnosed with herpes."


I continued to give him more details about the strand that I have and the odds and risks there are of sexual intercourse. (Thank god for this site that made this part so easy) i told him i could show her videos that could give him more details which he agreed to immediatley. At this point he had not said one word. He then said " what was the good news?"

I said "im ready to take our relationship to the next level if this is something that your able to deal with"

He didnt say anything, and then we watched the video of herpes basics with Adriel (THANK YOU!)

After the video he said "so what are my options"

And i said "you either take me with it, or you dont get me at all"

he leaned over and said "then i take you" and kissed me.


This conversation could have gone smoother, i could have said things and explained things so much better and i could have done a better job of containing my emotions but still i think it was perfect. I could not ask for a more understanding and supportive firs to boyfriend.

I want to thank everyone in this site for the encouragement! But mostly, I want everyone to know that its so possible to have a happy ending to that very difficult conversation.



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YAY! So happy for you!!! So are you taking anti-virals/using condoms? Glad the site helped you!


We are VERY pro-disclosure here ... so I would like to ask you to consider telling the guys (the ones you can reach) that they may need to get tested. It's only fair to them and their future partners.... education and testing is the only way we can stop the spread of the virus. Sure, it's not a big deal for many of us, but there's no way to tell who will get bad OB's ... and that isn't something I would wish on anyone....... anyway, just a request ... so you can start with a clean slate ;)


Again, congratulations! Well done!



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