Breakup after 1st Post-H relationship with H- Partner. So many feelings...

[serendipity515]

This is mostly going to be me venting, but I'm super frustrated and a little sad. Not too long ago I ended my first relationship after my diagnosis. My boyfriend was very accepting of my indisposition, and we had a relatively healthy relationship (or sex life, rather. relationship could've been better..). We broke up for totally unrelated reasons. I know I'll find love again, but this is the first time I've gone through a breakup and not been able to rebound. I definitely gave up on hook ups after I was diagnosed, but I'm just dreading going through this process all over again. I hate being 21 and not being able to have something that isn't serious. Flings and herpes just don't go in the same sentence. I know it's best to hold out for someone that truly cares about me and what not, but i'm just super bummed right now.

[WCSDancer2010]

Sorry things didn't work out... but you now know that herpes doesn't have to keep you from finding love ;)

 

Flings and herpes just don't go in the same sentence.

 

Not true. It's just that many people realized that their reason for having flings wasn't necessarily a "healthy" one (ie they didn't like being alone, they were looking for validation, etc) so they use herpes as a good excuse to stop hooking up.

 

You *can* have flings ... you just have to get good at disclosing without taking rejection personally. AND you would be surprised how many people are ok with the risk - to be honest, if you prefer casual sex, you have to know you are taking at least *some* rick on an STD ;)

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/70/herpes-disclosure-and-casual-sex general discussion

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2056/semi-success-i-dont-know-just-read-it thiisgoingtobeok

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3271/first-disclosure-was-a-success-i-can-breathe-now-

 

This was discussed pretty extensively here too:

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/70/herpes-disclosure-and-casual-sex

 

The only thing that is stopping you is your fear and your buying into the stigma ... honest..

 

 

(((HUGS)))

[serendipity515]

You're the BEST! I really appreciate your thoughtful response. I am totally buying into the stigma, I hope one day I can see past it :/

 

You're also definitely right about the risk you take with flings, I guess that comes regardless. One day I'll feel better about this!