HSV 2 Herpes Transmission Question

[awagne1]

This is going to sound a lot like a first outbreak story but just bear with me please, I have a question. I was just diagnosed December 24th (Merry Christmas to me...) with HSV 2 after having blood work done and my OB swabbed. The week before my outbreak I thought I just had a urinary tract infection. It was onset by burning while I pee, general flu symptoms and tender lymph nodes in my groin region. I did not have any blisters or sores at this point. I have been in a committed relationship for almost two years now. My boyfriend and I had sex up until the point where I was about 2 days into the flu like symptoms. I flew home to visit my family a week later, and at this point developed blisters and lesions. My doctor diagnosed me like I said, on the 24th. I was planning on having "the talk" with my boyfriend tomorrow when I got home, and hope that he love me and accept me considering I have no idea how I contracted this. He texted me an hour ago asking me if he could have gotten a UTI because it's starting to burn when he pees now. So here is my question. Did I give it to him, or could he have had it also- and me having it first is just a coincidence?? I just want to know what my options are so when I talk to him he knows exactly- even if the only way was through me. I'm just scared, and I hope he at least hears me out. I would be devastated if I gave it to him, so I guess what I am asking is, is it a coincidence or was it because of my outbreak, or is there any way of even knowing that??

[seeker]

well, he needs to be tested regardless, and that "could" help in understanding who had what. I am a male and I experienced no burning pee with my first OB, doctor thought it was mono of all things ( another cousin of herpes btw). if you both get a blood test, IGG, and either are neg at this point but 1 is post then the pos has had it longer as it takes about 4 months ( give or take) for a strong positive to show up. IE, if a person gets blood but is neg or low and they get a pos swab and their partner gets a pos blood test, partner has had it longer. that being said the blame game doesn't do anyone any good really. it could have been with either of you for years with no OB, or a mild OB believed to have been something else. my first bumps coincided with the "mono" and were believed to have been a bacterial infection. and while he was a walk in doc he did seem to have some knowledge of STIs cause we went down the list of usual suspects ( herpes was played by Kevin Spacey).

 

so talk with him, explain the situation and demand he do a test also ( in a non ultimatum way) and then you can begin to figure out things.

[awagne1]

Thank you for your response, it helped clear a lot up. I just hope if his comes back negative he doesn't take it out on me. I had absolutely no inkling before my flu like and UTI like symptoms. Thank you again!!!

[WCSDancer2010]

@awagne1

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

So did they tell you you have HSV2 from the test? If your blood work came back HSV2+ then you have had it for 4 months(ish) ... if you haven't got the actual test results back it *could* be HSV1 from oral sex (HSV2 isn't "genital" herpes ... it's the type ... the number has nothing to do with location).

 

Otherwise @seeker is right - if one is H+ and one is H- on the bloodwork, the H+ person was the original carrier ... BUT ... your BF needs to understand that 80% of people don't know they have herpes ... I had a client who had her first OB after 35 yrs of marriage. So either of you could have carried this and not known. I was "diagnosed" for several years with various yeast infections when I first had it (35 yrs ago) until I gave it to my (now ex) hubby after about 18 months together ... :(

 

The lack of testing (most are not tested unless you SPECIFICALLY ask for it) is, IMO, a travesty. Hopefully we can change their minds some day to make sure everyone is educated and tested :9

[awagne1]

Sorry for lack of response, I was traveling out of the country for a few weeks and had lack of data and the wifi wasnt connecting. The unfortunate part is that my blood work came back negative, but the doctor claims after saying I had it, diagnosing me with hsv 2- that since the blood work was negative, it must be a fluke and to see someone again in case it happens again. This angers me as he told me my swab was positive. The talk with my boyfriend went better than expected but he was extremely distant and cold. Which I expected, but it is getting better. What worries me is that my doctor didn't prescribe me anything, and won't prescribe me anything. I don't know why and as I live in a different state as my health coverage right now for school I am having a hard time trying to get a second opinion. I have been free of my first ever outbreak (classic signs fever, jt pain, lymph nodes swollen, weeping sores, pain urinating, pain in general etc) for a little over a week. What is worrying me NOW is that it feels like it's coming back again. My sores are coming back in the same region. I know from research it can trigger from a menstral cycle which I'm currently on right now but this really really sucks as I know you sympathize!!! Also, if I am planning on getting a second opinion since my doctor is demographically unavailable and can't make up his mind apparently, can I go now or should I wait for it to get worse again for a better diagnosis. I'm trying to get my boyfriend to get a blood test but I feel like he is scared because he knows if it's in his blood he's the one who gave it to me, most likely then. If not there's really no way to tell... but regardless what his result would be I'm trying to make him realize that we have to deal with the present and not blame each other regardless of the results.

[WCSDancer2010]

So you don't have a conclusive lab result of any kind? Without that, your BF could have given it to you ... H2 through sex or H1 from oral ... so he needs to be blood tested too.... because a positive result would tell you he was the one who gave it to you... and while as you say there is no blame, it would help you to know for sure how this happened ...

 

If you have another OB, go to Planned Parenthood or an OBGYN and get it swabbed and get another blood test and get them to give you a copy ... maybe get your BF to go with you and get tested together (if you go to PP) and have them explain it to you both....

 

(((HUGS)))

[awagne1]

Thank you so much!!! You are extremely helpful :)