Disclosure - My First Herpes Talk and a Success

[AshleyS]

Blah - I can wipe the sweat from my forehead and breathe a little easier now! I finally opened up to him, let him in and he was amazing, just absolutely amazing! And let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I've ever done!! Harder than telling my giver what he did to me! I've seen the disclosure video, read other people's disclosure stories, read as much as I could regarding it, and with all of that, I still fumbled over my words. I felt like my heart was going to explode right before it popped out of my mouth! He knew something was up, he saw me shaking a little, and asked what was wrong. I tried so hard to stay positive and not sound negative (NOT EASY for the first time), but he just looked at me and said "okay".. I asked him how he felt and he said that he didn't care, "lots of people have it", and we would just have to be careful! He asked a few questions but we didn't get into depth conversation.

 

When I get extremely nervous, I talk too much.. I did in this case, but things were okay. He listened, let me get it off my chest, and just said it didn't matter. That matter the most to me. That means a lot. I was worried about the length of time I waited to tell him, but he was okay. He said he was wondering why but now he understands. I explained that I wish I had the guts to tell him sooner, but I had to make sure I was okay with it first before I told him. Goodness, I'm so relieved!

 

Opening up and being vulnerable about something so personal and private like this was so hard, I really hope to not have to do it again anytime soon, but to know that he looks past that makes it all worth it! I know deep down that regardless of what happens in our relationship in the future, he made me a lot stronger person, and I'm SOOO grateful for that! I probably couldn't have done it without everyone here too! Reading the stories, seeing everyone go through similar situations as I did and come out strong on the other side is comforting, and I thank everyone for sharing their stories with me! It means a lot. Thank you!


[cbk_always_honest]

That's excellent CAS! I'm happy for you. To allow yourself to be vulnerable is a great way to find your strength. That is a strength no one can take from you and it will always be with you. There are so many things we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable with. It's unfortunate because the only way we can move on is to take it on with all the risks that are either real or more often made up in our own minds. Being open to experiencing the things in our lives which are most difficult for us puts us in a position to live our lives better.

 

It's always good to hear success stories, and I'm glad that you shared yours here.

 

:) CBK

[lelani]

I loved reading this Cas...I looked past H and it warms my heart to hear that others do too (especially now I'm in the H club myself;-) ). You were brave and vulnerable and there is so much power in that...if you ever have to do it again it isn't quite so hard.

I am so happy for you, I know that feeling of being accepted and knowing you are bigger than H - and someone else sees it too.

Thanks for sharing your story too :-) x

 

[Judith]

Very very happy for you cas, i hope that it will work out with him. :) This was a good and brave step , i hope that I will be so strong like you when i meet the right guy. Stories like this make us all stronger.thanks a lot for sharing .wish you a great happy day :)

[WhoopsiDaysi]

Awesome news CAS! I wish I could be there to hug you in person. I am so happy and relieved for you. It is SO hard to spit those words out, isn't it? It's like you know your whole life could change in that moment and you don't know which way it will go. Bravo my dear!!!! You are a warrior and a survivor and you did the right thing. I hope you woke up today with a new found sense of "I am AWESOME!" because you are. :) Thanks for letting us know how it went. :)

 

Brenda xox