So scared, so worthless, so paralyzed

[Anonemess]

At the very least I probably win the award for longest time to accept and move in. I live in deep denial by avoidance. I'm rambling because I can't even get a formed thought out of my head. I am so ashamed, so gross, so alone and so aad

[PositivelyBeautiful]

You are not alone... but I am sorry to hear that you are still struggling with this. There is no official time as to when acceptance comes... sometimes we will feel ok, and sometime we will hurt; it's all a normal process of being human, of being vulnerable. However, perhaps you should reach out to a therapist for some help? You might need to work with someone intimately on a regular basis to find ways to build your self-esteem back up. You deserve to be happy and feel that you are worthy of all the love in the world... it's time to take a step towards that, find help yourself. You deserve to smile, every single day.

[WCSDancer2010]

Honey... you are FAR from alone. One in 5 of all the people around you have genital H ... 4 out of 5 have oral H ... that is a HUGE percentage of the population. It's just that most either don't know they have H or, like you, they have bought into the stigma and thus don't talk to anyone about it.

 

I agree with @positive.... I'd get to a therapist if you can ... or @Adrial is also a great resource (I'm not on my home computer so I can't post his email but you can PM him on here). He's an excellent coach (I've seen him in action) ... so I can vouch that he can help you to work through the "stinkin thinkin" that has you paralyzed at the moment ...

 

Don't let another day go by without reaching out for help...make 2015 the year that you break free from the grip that the stigma has on you :)

 

(((HUGS)))