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new to this and I'm going to be okay :)

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I'm a senior in college and this past semester I kept running into the same kid at the bar every weekend. Finally I got to know him and had sex with him. Four days after we had sex, I noticed I had a painful bump. I was concerned at first, but convinced myself that it was just an ingrown hair. The next day I had a second bump. This really freaked me out! So I made sure that none of my roommates were home to overhear my phone call to Planned Parenthood to schedule an appointment for STD testing.


The nurse practitioner came into the room. I started crying and explained to her what was going on. She was really friendly and said, "well your HIV test came back negative! :)" This didn't help calm me down at all. Next she looked and told me that it didn't look like herpes and that it wasn't sexually transmitted, however, she still did the swab test. Of course the results aren't immediate, but after the swab test she told me not to worry and that I had an infection from shaving. I left Planned Parenthood feeling very relieved.


Then a week and a half later I notice that I had a voice mail from Planned Parenthood. I went to a private area to call and speak with the nurse practitioner. She told me over the phone, "You tested negative for chlamydia and gonorrhea which is really good!!! ..but you tested positive for type 1 herpes. I'm going to phone in a script." I was in complete shock. I kept thinking this could never happen to me. I nervously responded "it isn't the end of the world?" and of course the nurse said "Nope. It is not the end of the world." in an enthusiastic manner.


After I got off the phone I decided that I was never going to tell anyone. A day after the diagnosis I could not stop crying. Whenever I had any time by myself, even if it was just to go to the bathroom, I would cry. I really thought that it was the end of the world. I felt disgusting. Two days later, when I was in class, I accidentally spilled my coffee and I saw a kid glare at me. I lost it when this happened and started to cry in class. I was so embarrassed.


After class ended, my two best friends at college, who were also in my class insisted that I talk to them about what was going on. I had a really hard time getting it out, but I told them about my diagnosis. They were really supportive.


Later on that week I found this page. I read different posts on it for a while which was really helpful, but I was afraid to join.


Then, on New Years Eve, I was drunk and upset and my friend who already knew about my diagnosis talked to me. She told me that she could never picture me being with anyone who wasn't open-minded, that her sister also had herpes, and that herpes would never be a deal breaker for her. It was really helpful to hear this.


After this, I started to read more success stories on this website. I cannot thank the creator and everyone who posts on this website enough. Reading everything on here has been very helpful. I'm getting closer to fully accepting the fact that I have herpes and now I keep thinking more and more about how getting herpes could be a good thing. I'm confident that I will be able to post a success story on here one day :)

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So glad to see how quickly you managed to realize that this really isn't the end of the world! I wish I could get everyone on here to understand that this really is just a nuisance skin condition in a really inconvenient place. True, some have a worse time than others with it, especially initially, but it won't kill us and in fact for many it makes us stronger in the long run.



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