just as I suspected

[prettysure2]

I suspected i had 'it' around the holidays because of the tingling but never saw anything. Well a couple of weeks ago a bump appears. It doesnt hurt or itch but I go  to my ob gyn to have a culture taken anyway. I also have blood work done since it has been 5 months since my last sexual encounter... well I knew I wasn't crazy.  Dr told me today i was Hsv-2 positive IGG 1.8 but the culture came back negative...

 

I thought knowing would be somewhat of a relief, since I already accepted and grieved this the whole month of January, but I still feel a little bummed now...  Even though I 'knew' I had it, I guess there was always that glimmer of hope that I was overreacting about the tingles in the back of my thigh and down there. Plus I have yet to see an open sore... 

 

I'm trying to find solace in knowing all of my other std blood test were negative but I still can't stop my eyes from leaking. I'm trying to pull it together before I go to work but I think this is going to be a rough day...

 

I guess I'm just here getting this off of my chest but I do have a few questions. Does the 1.8 mean I'm fairly recently exposed? All I've ever seen was 1 bump here or there and they never turn into lesions. How do i know if its herpes or not? Why haven't I had an outbreak? I never physically feel bad so should I skip medication? And lets not even talk about dating right now. It seems totally out of reach at this point smh. I know this is a lot. My head is just swimming right now...

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Heya, so to answer some of your questions, 1.8 is positive but on the lower side, so could indicate a recent exposure. Also, anything between 1.1 and 3.5 has a 40% chance of false positive. To really be sure, wait 4 months post exposure and get the western blot. It tests for 14 different proteins rather than 1 or 2 in the herpes strain from an IGG test. Westover Heights Clinic is the only one authorized to handle the test, but it would provide confirmation.

 

The bumps might be herpes, or might not.. it's very hard to say if they never become full-on lesions. Not everyone has symptoms... and are known as asymptomatic carriers... (I am also asymptomatic, would never have known/suspected without a blood test) Most of the time herpes symptoms are very mild so about 80% of people with genital herpes don't even know they have it... You can try and get the bumps swabbed, which would help you determine if they are or not, but sometimes just coordinating that can be very difficult, and you might just continue to swab with negative results. Again, a lot of people never get blisters, but do get other symptoms like feeling tired, or general aches and pains, and flu-like symptoms. If that's your case, consider yourself lucky, because the physical pain of having sores can be quite excruciating for some people. Concerning medication, you don't need to take any if you don't want to... especially if you have no symptoms. It would allow your body to build up antibodies on its own for a while too. If you ever do decide to be intimate with someone who is H-, taking the antivirals would help minimize the risk for them.

 

Now, I know this is all new to you, and it's not going to be easy to come to terms with everything... so just give yourself some time, be patient. It will get better. We have all been there, at the beginning, hurt, lost, searching for answers, wondering how this happened, and wondering how we will cope. Know that nothing about you has changed, that everything you are on the inside is still firmly in tact, and that herpes is merely an inconvenient skin condition. Don't buy into the narrow-minded stigma that society has created, because it is sadly based on a serious lack of education and ignorance. You have every opportunity to live a full and amazing life and herpes will never hold you back from anything... Yes, you will have to have very vulnerable talks with new partners, but it can be a blessing which helps weed out the bad from the good. You will have the opportunity to build relationships that are more rooted in honesty, compassion and acceptance. I know it might be difficult to accept right now, but trust me when I say every day will get better, and easier. And when you are having a tough time coping, we're all here to help you through it.

[WCSDancer2010]

@prettysure2

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

@PositivelyBeautiful is right - a 1.8 is a very low positive and given that you are 5 months post-exposure I'd question the result as a *possible* false positive... I'd re-test in a few months ... and sounds like you are on anti-virals ... if you are not having OB's and you are not in a relationship it would be good to get off them and re-test in a couple months... and if that is still a low positive I'd do the Western Blot - we can get you the info at that time if you need to take that route.

 

Now ... IF you have herpes ... you WILL be fine. I've had it 35 years ... and while it's caused a few speed bumps along the way, it never stopped me from having a great life... and if you read the Success Stories on here, you will see it can actually be a great Wingman because you will learn who wants to get into YOU ... as opposed to who wants to "get into" you ;)

 

Hang on here, get educated and see that some of the most beautiful people you'll ever get to know have herpes ... and if you've joined us and our virus, well, we'll help you to get through all this and hopefully will help you get to acceptance and peace with it.

 

((HUGS)))

[prettysure2]

Thank you @PositivelyBeautiful and @WCSDancer2010 for the kind words. They really did make me feel better. I'm sooooo grateful for you guys and this site.

 

I'm pretty convinced that I am positive because my prodrome tingles were really prominent. They felt like electric shocks and lasted for a few days each time. I've never been on anti-virals. When I was diagnosed the Dr asked if I wanted a prescription. I really don't want to take meds if I don't have to. She also said she doesn't think I need to retest but I can if I wanted. 

 

I had a pretty rough weekend. Usually my kids laughter can get me through anything... but I found myself giving them fake smiles and not really wanting to be bothered so I KNOW I'm in a bad place right now. The stories on this site do make me feel better for a moment but then I come back to my reality and just can't imagine  ever feeling comfortable enough with anyone to share such personal info

 

I trust that you all say this will get better... just can't see the forest right now...

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Well, *personally* I would retest... just to be sure ... as @PositivelyBeautiful said, your numbers are well within the 40% false positive numbers and without a definite OB I'd want a conclusive result. Had you had an exposure/encounter with someone within a few weeks of the first symptoms that make you feel you are "sure" you were exposed?

 

So... as for how you feel. Think about this. What if one of your kids came to you in the future and told you they just got a HSV2+ result. What would you do? Because whatever you would do for them, do it for yourself right now. Love yourself. Hold yourself and let yourself cry if you need to. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are STILL beautiful and you will STILL find love because the virus doesn't change who YOU are. Love yourself as you would love them.... unconditionally. How you deal with this right now WILL affect them ... they may not know what is bothering you, but they will know *something* is wrong ... and they may even believe it's their fault.... so as soon as you can get some alone time, start the practice of holding yourself like you would hold them ... and let yourself find the healing place.... for your kids as well as for yourself ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[prettysure2]

Thank you @WCSDancer2010 I'm really going to try hugging myself asap. You are right. My girls don't deserve this. I'm pulling myself together. I have to for them!

 

I had the tingling about a month after an encounter and pretty much ever since I've had 1 bump after another with maybe a couple weeks in between. The one that I had tested came back negative but I remember reading somewhere that the bump should be tested within a couple of days from first appearance and it was over a week when I got tested

 

Guess I'll wait another 5 months and test again. Until then I'm going to try my best to love and except the 'new' me :) thanks again. I feel better already