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What questions should I be prepared for after initial disclosure?


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Hello. I am new to this forum. I've actually had herpes for 7 years now and I am finally seeking support for it. I am starting a new relationship and I want to do this the right way. I've always been extremely pathetic when disclosing to a potential partner and I realize now that I can come at this from a knowledgeable and calm standpoint. So now that I have rehearsed, many times in my room, how I'm going to deliver this I want to know what questions to be prepared for. Especially the crazy questions. I'm prepared to handle a rational adult discussion but what 2 people consider to be rational can vary greatly. Thank you for your help and support and I hope to gain the confidence and knowledge to help someone else. I think this is an amazing thing you all are doing.

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Hi Jojo,


Welcome to the forum!

Disclosing to somebody can be really scary at 1st, and I've experienced that with knowledge, and self-confidence, disclosing to somebody seems much easier.

I have gone the route of being terrified to tell someone; leaving that person terrified and me feeling awful. After realizing that I can actually be calm, cool, and collected about it, I actually feel silly at the thought of acting so nervous and terrified.


I like that you said "I'm prepared to handle a rational adult discussion." As long as you present it as a rational discussion, the other person will be much more likely to meet you there. Also though; like you said; what 2 people consider rational may vary greatly." The cool thing is that no matter how to other person reacts; you can continue to have a rational conversation no matter what. You can continue to handle that conversation how ever you want no matter what the other person's reaction is.


I think that questions to be prepared for is


How does it spread?

How often do you get outbreaks?

How likely is it that I'll contract it?

How did you get it?


Also, have you looked at the disclosure e-book yet?



Be well!




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Thank you so much for your help. I actually decided I wasn't ready to date. I think I was going too fast with this guy. We hadn't had sex yet but there was "heavy petting". I couldn't handle him going on a date w/someone else so I just told him I wasn't ready to date. We didn't have the conversation. Thank God because he coldly responded "Okay. Bye." Sometimes I just want to sleep with the guy but having herpes makes it impossible to have casual relationships. I cant just disclose this to anyone. It turns out to be a blessing.

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