Brief summary of my herpes experience; I hope to get some advise from people on here.

[diddie_15]

Hi Everyone,

 

I hope you lot are doing great. I am surprised at myself for doing this, because I never really imagined anyone else going through the things I went through. I found out that I contracted herpes in the year 2013, via oral sex. That was the year I had first been in a sexual relationship, but I guess I did not conduct any research before having sex. When I found out, it made me feel like, that was the punishment I deserved for going against my beliefs when it came to sex. This experience had a huge impact on me psychologically; but things are getting better. The hardest part of this experience so far for me, is keeping it a secret; this is the most draining. This is the first time I actually got the courage to something about it. Since this experience, I find myself not wanting to get close with anyone who is interested in me; I push people away and preferred to remain in isolation. I am a devoted Christian and have prayed several times about this situation I am facing. I did some research and found this site; I needed to let it out at some point. I seek advice on even bringing this topic up if I decide to have a future relationship. It will be helpful, coming from someone who has actually experienced what it is like to live with herpes. I am holding up, and I hope you all are too. As much as we all need support from one another, God will see us through. I hope to connect with some good people here. Thanks for taking the time to read my post. Xoxo

 

[Brynn2012]

@diddie_15

 

First, bravo on opening up in any form or fashion. I was against any site or support group at first because I don't believe I wanted to associate with the topic. I've since gotten over that and recognized that it's okay to talk about it-everyone here understands and empathizes.

 

I got HSV1 from oral sex a month ago, so I cannot give you progressive advice on people or disclosing to future partners. All I can say is that I felt the same way-as if I was being punished. I'm Catholic, but I only recently started going to Church again (this past Sunday). When I connected the dots to how I got here, all I felt was shame and disappointment, but now I am starting to see that maybe this is a blessing in disguise. If I could've had a choice-I wouldn't have picked herpes, but this is going to save me. I was chasing the wrong things, I didn't give anyone a chance to know or love me before being intimate with them because I didn't love myself. Now, I have to take things slow...I am not going to want to air my personal business unless the person has invested in my soul. And if they take it negatively, well, I dodged a bullet because sex wears me down...I give a piece of myself each time, and they would not have returned the favor.

 

A lot of people are uneducated and ignorant when it comes to the subject. Pick the right people, and by "right" I mean...the one's you feel are worth it. If they can't handle it, it's no reflection of you-it's preference, categorizing. Never take it personally. No one is better than you and you don't have to keep punishing yourself.

[diddie_15]

@brynn2012

 

Hi B, thanks for sharing your experience and perspective. I am glad you started going to church. In my time, 2013 I tried to understand if I was way off track with my relationship with God that is why he brought me back to him and as a matter of fact, he is the only one that can bring me through this. I hope your church inspires you. I can relate with the fact that you were chasing the wrong things, because that was one of the same issues I had. I strongly agree, some people might seem nice just to get what they want but might not have a genuine interest in anything long-term; it will not be worth it to even share much of your business with them.

 

You are right, I myself was not as knowledgeable about any of this until I contracted it. People have the right to reject or accept me when it comes to this matter that does not mean there is something wrong with me.

 

Once again, thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to make me feel better. we will talk as time goes on. Lets stop punishing ourselves, whatever was meant to have happened would eventualy happen no matter how we try to avoid.

[Brynn2012]

@diddie_15

 

Rework the situation and make it blossom into something good. I know that the mind tends to revert and we love to beat ourselves down, let yourself be lifted <3. Inbox me if you ever want to talk! You're right and we will stop.

[diddie_15]

Sure and you too :) @brynn2012 .

[WCSDancer2010]

@diddie_15

 

Hello and glad you found us!

 

Just to let you know, I got HSV1 orally at age 4, I got HSV2 from my first sexual experience at age 17, (I'm 53 now) and I never saw it as a "punishment" ... it's life, that's all. Stuff happens, and I don't think that God necessarily has anything to do with "why" you got it. Unfortunately you are like the majority of the population in that most are woefully under-informed, which is one of the reasons so many have it.

 

Herpes is an equal opportunity virus ... it doesn't care if you are good, bad, old, young, rich, poor, sleep with many or are a virgin. I've seen virgins who got it from oral, married couples where the H+ partner was unaware of their status who gave it to their partner, and yet some who sleep around with minimal precautions may never get it. I think if God was giving Herpes out as a punishment or way to bring you back to him, that the married person wouldn't get it and the more promiscuous would get it.

 

As for keeping it a secret, well, I hope you will find someone you really trust that you could confide in to talk to.. it's great you found us but having a person face to face that you can talk to and who can hug you is one step towards learning how to disclose to a potential partner, and those hugs can really help a lot too!

 

Your best bet to learn how to disclose is to read everything you can in the Success Stories so you can see not only HOW to do it but just how beautiful those relationships are experiences are.

 

(((HUGS)))

[diddie_15]

@WCSDancer2010

 

Thanks for the insight. Well I felt that was a way of God bringing me back on track because I was planning on going so many wrong directions. Thanks a lot for sharing youe experience with me. I feel kinda relieved that someone understand what I went through. You are absolutely right, anyone could contract it.

 

Thanks for the insight. I will be sure to look read the success stories part. Thank you so much :).