Has anyone had this experience with disclosing?

[ivoryrain]

I have had tons of success with disclosure (disclosed to ~25 guys and only three of those rejected me), which is lovely of course, but it seems as though guys who just want sex try even harder to convince me. I'm not sure if it's because they think I'm either a slut because I have an STD or that I'll throw myself at anyone who accepts me having an STD. All too often, when I disclose to someone to see if they're serious about *being* into me or *getting* into me, I get a reply along the lines of, "Sooo, we just have to use condoms?" Either way, H is still my wingman because if that's a guy's first reply after telling him I have H, he's probably not someone I should be intimate with lol. Perhaps it has to do with my early disclosure practices. I disclose much sooner than most people it seems to avoid investing feelings and getting hurt, so perhaps it sends a message that I'm down for sex when I bring it up so early. I'm sure that a lot of it just has to do with me being in the age group where guys are still sex-crazed, etc., but it gets really hard to not take it personally when they seem to think that I'm an easy lay or something because I'm telling them that I have H.

 

My question is has anyone else experienced this, and, if so, were you able to find a way to get around it (i.e. change of tone, word choice, waiting longer before disclosing, etc.)? It's not a super pressing issue right now because I believe I have found someone who I will be dating in the near future, but it's just something that I have been thinking about a lot lately.

[2Legit2Quit]

Well how soon is soon and what is your age group? Sounds like that could very well be an assumption they are making on their part.

[WCSDancer2010]

Well, it *could* be a legitimate question based on their beliefs... AND it could be that because YOU bring it up, that they think you are ready for sex.

 

So I would try seeing what happens if you wait a bit longer until the topic of sex comes up more naturally ...perhaps even try keeping them at bay a bit longer (just say you have something going on that, if things progress, you will talk to them about it but right now you are not ready for sex) ... try different things ... I get where you are coming from (and I'm out in all my dating profiles but being out there keeps it from having the implication that I'm bringing it up to have sex at that moment)...

 

Read the Success Stories... I always figure if I can learn from another's experience, then it can help me to do better myself. And there's some great ideas in there... believe me, I have been trying some of them myself :)

 

 

[ivoryrain]

@2Legit2Quit

 

Sorry for the late reply - my narcolepsy is getting the better of me lately so I've been sleeping constantly lol. I'm 20. The guys I date are typically a few years older than me (2-5). I'm at that age range where probably 3/4 of guys still want casual sex if they can get it, so they may just think I'll graciously throw myself at any guy who takes mercy on my HSV-2+ self haha.

[2Legit2Quit]

Lol... Well I'm glad you are having a positive outlook! Hope you're doing better!