I found out about a month ago

[CQ041]

I found out I had herpes about a month ago. It's been a rough ride so far...

 

I found out after thanksgiving I have genital herpes. I had a culture test done when I went home for thanksgiving. (I am a student in college.) The doctor thought I had gotten some kinda infection from shaving, but did a culture test for herpes just incase. She told me I was at very low risk for it and I probably did not have it, because my partner did not have any symptoms and he was clean. From the very beginning everyone told me to stop thinking it was herpes and that I was going to be okay. Then a few days later I get a call from a nurse that I was positive for herpes. I get this call on a Friday. I go the whole weekend with so many questions and so little answers, right before the week of finals.

 

After several weeks of just a rollercoaster of emotions, I see a doctor in the near area of my college. The doctor has me do a pregnant test which I knew would be negative. She has me do several blood test none to figure out what type of HSV I am. I come up positive for Syphilis. She had her nurse call and tell me that but with no more information, but that they want me to come do more blood work, which I do. They make me wait around afterwards for more than an hour saying that the doctor will talk to me and they come out and tell me the doctor doesn't want to speak to me and I need to make appointment for the next week. The next week I come and the doctor cannot give me a solid answer of my test results. The State Health dept. of course had to get involved because of the positive for syphilis. It turns out my numbers were very low for the syphilis and the doctor told me I was neither a negative or positive. I have finally gotten help from the state health department. Who is helping me take care of myself and the situation. I am just hoping that it is a false negative because of hormones or something. And I think it is because my partner is clean or so he says.

 

After having a horrible experience with that doctor, I am now on the hunt for a doctor that will be able to give me the information and the help I need to manage my herpes.

 

I am having really hard days every now and then but not as bad as the beginning when I first got diagnosed. My partner says he's clean for everything, but he first did tell me when I told him I had herpes that he had oral herpes. He acts quite shady often and I have for a while have thought he has been lying to me especially when I was told I was "positive" for syphilis. He has been the only one I've been with in over a year. And my first outbreak happened about 2 weeks after we had sex. I remember that I had been feeling a little under the weather and he had told me he had been sick. Recently he and I have been discussing things and he said he gets coldsores when he gets sick. So I think I must have gotten genital herpes from his oral herpes. So I am thinking I have HSV1, but I wouldn't for sure know until I get tested.

 

Currently I think I have had one more outbreak since my first. I got sick again like my first outbreak during period just like before, except I didn't feel as uncomfortable as before and I didn't feel any bumps or blisters. I am currently taking valacyclovir daily.

 

I am not at the best point in my health right now, but I am trying to fix it. I am trying to eat healthy and get a sleep routine. I am active runner and I am starting my first marathon training soon. I have really bad anxiety. I had a few anxiety attacks when I first got diagnosed. I am trying to stressless because I know it will not help me or my situation anymore. I am currently trying to come up with a new diet plan for myself. I have a good support system of my mom and a few close friends who know what is going on with me.

 

I have a lot of questions and I never know where to start, but that basically the gist of me and my story.

 

Something that need help figuring out is if I might have oral herpes...in the week and half I have had several little bumps show up on my lips when I get really stressed or upset. The thing is they disappear after about an hour or so. My mother thinks it's just from stressing about herpes and everything. They don't blister or stay long so that's why I think it might not be oral herpes. Yet at the same time I think it might be it. I have also gone through a scare that I had a herpetic whitlow.

 

Something that really concerns me all the time is spreading this else where on my body. The internet always says one thing and someone says something else so I never know what to believe. The doctor I had visited said that this was only spread sexually...which I don't think is completely correct. Its when there is a break in the skin that it is transferal isn't it? Which makes me so nervous because my puppy bites and claws at me all the time. I have open cuts and marks all over my body. I am constantly washing my hands and afraid that at night i'll touch my lip or lower area and spread this in my sleep. I have also read you can go blind from getting the virus in your eye.

 

I am also concerned about alcohol. I am newly 21 and everything I read highly suggest to avoid alcohol. I know it is something that is already not good for you, but it something I do not want to cut out completely in my life.

 

Currently I am in a good positive state. I am trying not to stress about anything and educate the best possible way I can. I am trying to adjust my life style accordingly. This was a really long post, but I am glad I have gotten my feelings out.

[2Legit2Quit]

Your doctor is an idiot, since 80% of those w genital herpes are asymptomatic. Was it a GP?

 

Call the other doctors office, the swab will be type specific and ask which one it is.

 

Awww geez girl, you got a double whammy didn't you? I'm sorry. Don't worry, the meds will clear syphilis right up.

 

You know girl, there just seems to be a lot of red flags and your women's intuition is talking to you, don't ignore it. If you feel he's shady, then he is shady and can't be trusted. Listen to your gut and run like hell. Do not have anymore unprotected sex w him, if you're going to stay w him.

 

So the first 4-6 months after infection, you can possibly auto inoculate, so just be careful. Once your body has time to build antibodies, it will be extremely rare to do so.

 

I was the same way at first and had that fear when sleeping, so I made it a habit that I only use my left hand to touch down there, so when sleeping I didn't do something like scratch and then rub my eye. I wouldn't worry about it, you're way over thinking this.

 

Alcohol isn't a trigger for everyone. For me liquor is, but I'll just wake w one bump and that's it. Recurrents won't be like your primary. None of my recurrents have hurt and they've been like a single red bump that never blistered or ulcerated. Keep living your life like you did before and stop stressing about that.

[CQ041]

The doctor I was seeing was infectious specialist...I was seeing her because I thought she was going to be less judgmental and experienced with my situation. But instead I she just made matters worse. I am no longer seeing her after I finally got some help from someone who wasn't even really a doctor.

 

Because I had been "positive" for syphillis the state had to get involved. A state health rep. came to my apartment and tested me because my stupid doctor did not comply with the state on giving them my test results. I ended up having a false positive for syphillis. There's something wrong with my hormones.

 

I haven't gone to a new doctor yet because I had such a bad experience with my last. I am kinda of terrified to see another doctor.

 

I have left that guy after realizing how big of a coward he was.

 

I am doing much much better, but I still have some bad days. I haven't had another breakout that I know of.

 

I break down every once in a while. It's hard. One of my past partners I disclosed to told someone about my situation. He is one of my closes friends who thinks it was absolutely not my past partners place to do something like that. It is my final semester of my undergrad and I plan on attending law school in DC. I can't wait to have a fresh start.

[2Legit2Quit]

Well, this is actually why @wcadancer2010 has told people on this forum, such as @hippyheerpy, to not see an infectious disease doctor. That's pretty scary how negligent and incompetent she was. I am so sorry you had to go through all that and the state department came to your place, I can't imagine how humiliating that must have felt for you. I had no idea that the state gets involved in such matters. Did you know they were coming?

 

That is insanity girl. I hope you had a support system standing behind you. How are you doing now? Try googling an GYNO that specializes in Herpes and that may give you soneone who is much more understanding. Planned parenthood may give you the same, but even then they can have some jaded docs.

 

Hang in there. You are strong, you are smart, you are powerful and you can make a difference w that law degree. Maybe helping those in medical malpractice would be very rewarding for you, after you've gone through what you have. Hugs and we're always here!

[WCSDancer2010]

Hey there!

 

Well, yes, one might *think* an Infectious Disease Dr would be the place to go, but they are more worried about things like Ebola, TB, West Nile, etc.

 

To talk about STD's you need to go to the Dr that deals with that every single day.... a Gynocologist.. or Planned Parenthood for guys or if you have no insurance. Those Dr's are the Vagina's R Us of the medical world and know about all the issues associated with that area. So ask your friends if they can recommend a good, COMPASSIONATE, Gyno who will educate you (you can always say you are thinking about trying an IUD or whatever, something that you would want a Dr who will sit you down and talk with you when needed).

 

Glad you left the guy... if he's not supporting you, there's no reason to stay... that said, it *sounds* like you may have HSV1 in which case odds are high he could have had it and not known it. But that's water under the bridge.

 

Get thee to a Gyno, and get some good medical support. We are here to deal with the rest :)

[CQ041]

My mother was the one that thought Infectious Disease doctor was the best thing for me.

 

The gyno at my university is pretty great. I just don't want to go to the one at my university cause in the past they felt really concerned for me...When I explained my sex history to them they kinda caught on that my first time wasn't exactly wanted or consensual. I know they wouldn't really judge me. I still have this kinda fear.

 

I am pretty positive I have HSV1 , except I am pretty positive he knew, because when I told him I had it his response was what kind? And then told me he had oral herpes. And back when the actual contact happen I remember him telling me he had been sick a few days before. I also remember saying something about stis and stds and he just gave me this weird look like he was withholding information from me. I in all honest think he was just trying to keep me close in case I would attempt to sue (I use to work for a lawyer up until a few weeks before I got my first outbreak). Which I kind of wanted to (still kind of do to), but I realized he is just a coward and it will probably be to stressful/emotional for me.

 

I take valacyclovir daily which is kinda why I am in this state of limbo of seeing a new doctor. I know something is wrong with me tho since I am testing false positives for syphilis. The health state guy was the most helpful medical attention I have gotten through this whole process. He actually got to know me before making any judgements. So he knew I was careful girl. I worked as a legislative for my state and I told him how I wanted to make a difference in women's rights and health care.

[2Legit2Quit]

Well I wouldn't assume which one it is.... Most people don't look at cold sores as an STD.. Found him asking which one interesting as well. Doesn't hurt to have a blood test done.

[CQ041]

I plan on getting one done. It was just sucked that in the first month after my outbreak i did 3 blood tests and no one tested it for what type of herpes. I think I am going to visit the HELP doctors listed near by me. I plan to get tested at least before I ever become involved with someone again.

 

He called it oral herpes so I know he might have considered it a STD in his mind. I know he did have to enclose that with me really. But if he was well aware that he had cold sore just days ago and he knew the difference between HSV 1 and HSV 2. When I first told him about the fact that I had genital herpes he already knew a lot. Just from his mannerisms had how they changed in that moment I knew something was up. He is the only one that fits the time line for my first outbreak also. I hadn't been with anyone else for more than a year. He tried to make it seem like I was sleeping around and I wasn't. He also swear he didn't have genital herpes. He said he got "tested". I just wish he would admit it was probably him or that it was him. Or that he has it. But that will never happen because I blocked his number and just completely moved on from him.

[2Legit2Quit]

I'd say about 90% or more w oral herpes doesn't have an idea that it can transmit down below. They also seem to think that it turns to 2 down there when passed through oral sex, so I wouldn't assume anything. If he knew so much, makes me question if he had 2 and knew it.

 

Not sure what HELP is, never heard of it before. Did you try a planned parenthood?

 

Don't feel bad, my giver tried to deny it too and then pulled the whole : you better not have given me anything and if I did get something, I'm going to hear from his lawyer and to never talk to him again.

 

He was the first sex I've had in two yrs and I tested negative in blood and positive by swab. Clearly a new infection. Sometimes you just have to let it go, for the sake of your own healing. I stayed extremely angry at him, hated him, resented him, etc... Then probably around a yr or close, I started to take my role in contracting it. I knew better. I absolutely knew better, despite him kying when I asked. At the end of the day, I unlike most, knew that even skin to skin contact w no penetration could result in this. Once I let it go that that he gave it to me and let go of being the powerless victim in it and put it on me, is the day I felt like I gained my power back in all of this. I know it sounds corny and cliche as hell and trust me, I am not what my friends would call an optimist, so I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass. I am being serious on how much it helped me to heal and come to even better acceptance than I already had.