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Hi all!


My name is Alexa and I have had an account on here since my initial outbreak of herpes type 1 on gentials. It has now been 5.5 years since that initial and ONLY EVER outbreak. I have been doing really well as it does not affect my daily life in any way. I have had a few boyfriends since then where disclosing has never been an issue. I usually wait a month or so until being physical and intimate and disclosing when I feel the guy has gotten to know me well.


I met a new guy last week and we had instant chemistry and an instant emotional connection and comfort with one another. I usually wait a while to be Intimiate but I took the risk and allowed myself to be naked with him in bed. We fooled around but did not have sex as I like to disclose before doing that.


He tried hard to go down on me last night and I told him no and when he asked why I replied with "just cuz" - he kept asking why and then said do you have an std? I had to be honest in that moment and felt fine doing so but wanted to wait longer. He was immediately supportive and right away got seran wrap to go down on me! I was so nervous cuz I told him it's been 5.5 years since I've been eaten out. It almost felt scary and funny. Anyway, he seemed fine but was a tad quiet after. I asked what was on his mind and he said he is thinking about what I just told him.


I am now in the waiting game with if he is going to keep dating me or reject me soon. Just worried and nervous because I really like him so far and want it to continue.


Just looking for encouragement and support! I know it's up to the partner if they want to take that tiny risk it poses, but it's still hard to imagine that one small thing could end our amazing start to something.

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@inspired32 Hi, Alexa! I'm going to send you a link in a moment, so check your PM folder. I think you may find it helpful.


I hope it goes well with your new guy but also hope you can keep in mind in the future that your partners are at greater risk of contracting HSV1 from kissing others with HSV1 (most adults have HSV1) than from performing oral sex on you. This is because HSV1 typically sheds more from the mouth than it does from the genitals. Also, the older you get, the less and less likely it will be that you will encounter a partner who is HSV-free. By the time you're in your 30s, only 19% of your same age peers will be vulnerable to contracting HSV1 (because they will already have HSV1 and/or HSV2), and by the time you're in your 40s, only 7% of same age partners will be HSV-free and vulnerable to contracting it from you. I don't know if that helps at all, but I'm someone who is comforted by the statistics, so thought I would share.

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