Just found out today (yes, on Valentine's Day)... feeling pretty lost

[coffeeluv215]

My partner is coming over in a couple of hours and I am going to tell him I was diagnosed. Very afraid to have this conversation because I myself do not understand the complexities of the virus but I can't keep this from him. Feeling in the dark about everything. I will go through the forum in more detail to find more information, but if anyone has any words of encouragement or helpful resources please share them. Also seeking home remedies for pain relief/discomfort.

 

Thanks all.

[HikingGirl]

Hi, @coffeeluv215, and welcome. I was diagnosed a year ago with HSV1 and HSV2. Life has just thrown you a curve ball, so please be kind to yourself. The sadness, confusion, fear, anger will not last forever. But for right now, give yourself permission to feel whatever is coming up for you and expect to experience some or all of the five stages of grief.

 

This site is an amazing resource to get you started. I found Adrial's videos really comforting. The getting started fact sheets will give you the very basic facts and will be helpful for your partner. For detailed facts on herpes, I really loved Terri Warren's book, available on Amazon as a Kindle book. Even though she's a nurse practitioner, it was very easy to understand and she covered every question I had when I was first diagnosed.

 

I think you'll also find the forums helpful. You can pretty much guarantee that whatever you're currently feeling, have felt or will feel.....someone else has felt the same way! Or they've had a similar situation or question. There's so much knowledge and acceptance here.

 

My outbreaks happen to be fairly mild--I find diluted tea tree oil helpful for itching. I'm sure others will have other suggestions for pain relief and discomfort.

 

You happen to have a virus which affects the skin of your genitals. Millions of people have it--just like you. Most just don't know it, and that feeds the stigma. You are a whole person and you are worthy of love. The very fact that you are brave enough to reach out to others on the day of your diagnosis tells me that you are a very strong person. {{hugs}}

[hippyherpy]

Herpes is a pretty normal part of modern dating at this point. So many people have it, and both types can be passed on. Just tell him the facts. No need for drama. Get on Valtrex and use cindims. Some people don't care at all about it. Some cool even with unprotected sex. Your life isn't over by a stretch. So far, having herpes hasn't stopped me from doing my thing and has actually boosted my resolve in life. The real wake up call is learning all the info. The Adam Ruins Herpes video is really good too because it makes fun of the whole situation. We need more comedy that takes the piss out of the stigma.